"I know we're not saints or virgins or lunatics; we know all the lust and lavatory jokes, and most of the dirty people; we can catch buses and count our change and cross the roads and talk real senten "Never frighten a little man. He'll kill you." (Robert A. Heinlein) Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
-- Colin Greene Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle V Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show V
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
-- Woody Allen The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson V "He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever." (Chinese Proverb) I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be
built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think.
-- Anne S We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx V
Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West We can say 'Peace on Earth,' we can sing about it, preach about it or pray about it, but if we have
not internalized the mythology to make it happen inside us, then it will not be.
-- Betty Shabazz If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think.
-- Socrates V Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan V
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry It is absurd to divide people into good or bad. People are either charming or tedious.
-- Oscar Wilde "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero V Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
- Ambrose Bierce Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii V
People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing.
-- Seneca "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries V Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx "Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) V
The person who is slowest in making a promise is most faithful in its performance.
-- Jean-Jacques Rousseau "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
-- Anonymous V You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins V
Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I begin to think of the victims
of intact ones.
-- Peter DeVries It ain't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
-- Will Rogers Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison V He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies V
The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) V Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
-- George Washington V
"A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Reading computer manuals without the hardware is a frustrating as reading sex manuals without
the software.
-- Arthur C. Clarke Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein V In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata V
All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Beneath the rule of men entirely great, / The pen is mightier than the sword.
-- Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu, II. ii "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Repentance is not so much remorse for what we have done as the fear of the consequences.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld, Maxims, 1665 V The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) V
The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love; the more they give, the more
they possess.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni V Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker I hate mankind, for I think myself to be one of them, and I know how bad I am.
-- Samuel Johnson I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
-- Mother Teresa V
