"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper Correction: Instead of being arrested, as we stated, for kicking his wife down a flight of stairs and hurling a lighted kerosene lamp after her, the Rev. James P. Wellman died unmarried four years ago Elgin In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac "College: two hundred people reading same book. An obvious mistake. Two hundred people can read two hundred books." (John Cage, M, Writings 1967 - 1972) Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast the disc
jockey is not allowed to talk.
-- Fran Lebowitz Elgin
True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo "No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave." (Calvin Coolidge) People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only
make $500,000.
-- Pete Incaviglia, baseball player, 1990 A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Elgin A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Elgin
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
-- Abraham Lincoln There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power
so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. Elgin "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) The whole problem can be stated quite simply by asking, "Is there a meaning to music?" My
answer would be, "Yes." And "Can you state in so many words what the meaning is?" My answer
to that would be When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Elgin
"The devil's agents may be of flesh and blood, may they not?" (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Hound of the Baskervilles) "Humans beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their god-given right to be stupid." (Dean Koontz, Seize the Night) Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Elgin A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.
-- Charles Evans Hughes "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Elgin
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
-- Henry Kissinger It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Elgin Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Elgin
The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce Elgin It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) I was nauseous and tingly all over... I was either in love or I had smallpox.
-- Woody Allen Elgin
Jealousy is the only vice that gives no pleasure.
-- Anonymous "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.
-- Thomas Jefferson Elgin As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Opera in English is, in the main, about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-- H. L. Mencken It destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Elgin
I date this girl for two years--and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name."
-- Mike Binder We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln Elgin It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
-- Anonymous Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Elgin
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- ROBERT FROST Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Elgin Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Elgin
"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) "I don't think it's the nature of any man to be monogamous. Men are propelled by genetically ordained impulses over which they have no control to distribute their seed." (Marlon Brando) A small family is soon provided for.
-- English Proverb It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
-- Harry Truman The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth which it
prevents you from achieving.
-- Russell Green Elgin I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Tauzin backs term limits -- But he thinks it's a bad idea.
-- Headline, story in the New Orleans Times-Picayune, Feb 20, 1995 "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Elgin
Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
-- James Baldwin Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
-- Martin Mull "I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." (Alan Watts) "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb Elgin "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the
consequences.
-- Isadora Duncan "Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) Elgin
