Renfrewshire Council - Renfrewshire Council's guide to Renfrewshire and Council Services.
Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones
was alive.
-- G. K. Chesterton Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All Government None but a good man is really a living man, and the more good any man does, the more he really
lives. All the rest is death, or belongs to it.
-- Herman Melville Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell Government
This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Government "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." (George Bernard Shaw) Government
The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Government I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Government
Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr By working faithfully eight hours a day, you might eventually get to be a boss and work twelve
hours a day.
-- ROBERT FROST Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.
-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From it springs the purest courtesy in the
outward behavior.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Government Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Government
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Knowledge is the intellectual manipulation of carefully verified observations.
-- Sigmund Freud Government Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails?
-- Will Rogers, to his niece on seeing the Venus de Milo Government
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream." (Edger Allen Poe) "There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method." (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers Government Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
-- John F. Kennedy "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) Government
If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would
be able to endure it.
-- Schopenhauer Work is a four-letter word.
-- The Smiths (Morrissey) We know the truth, not only by the reason, but also by the heart.
-- Blaise Pascal, Thoughts, Chap. x. 1., Translated by O. W. Wight Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle Government Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry The church must be the critic and guide of the state, and never its tool.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Government
Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Government Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are
legislators.
-- P. J. O'Rourke We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa Government
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
-- Wynn Catlin, also attributed to Will Rogers If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill Government My father was a minister. I had to make up for the lack of sin.
-- Milwuakee mayor, on why he became a politician Silence is argument carried out by other means.
-- Ernesto "Che" Guevara A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Government
Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 "The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Government "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Government
"Dreams are the touchstones of our personality." (Henry David Thoreau) "In literary criticism the critic has no choice but to make over the victim of his attention into something the size and shape of himself." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus Government Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
-- T. S. Eliot Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Government
