Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy Recreation and Sports
"The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw As always, victory finds a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
-- Count Galeazzo Ciano, The Ciano Diaries When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Recreation and Sports Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes Recreation and Sports
We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Why doesn't she like me? Is it my hair, my overbite, the fact that I've worn the same shirt and
shorts for the last four years?
-- Bart Simpson, young character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated tele Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson That's the nature of research--you don't know what in hell you're doing.
-- 'Doc' Edgerton Recreation and Sports In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante Recreation and Sports
Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Recreation and Sports If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince If you are all wrapped up in yourself, you are overdressed
-- Kate Halverson I like two kinds of men: domestic and foreign.
-- Mae West Recreation and Sports
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.
-- Lisa Hoffman "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get
married.
-- Katharine Hepburn Recreation and Sports Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Recreation and Sports
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George When looking back, usually I'm more sorry for the things I didn't do than for the things I shouldn't
have done.
-- Malcolm Forbes Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with
the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.
-- Cynthia Heimel Recreation and Sports If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) Recreation and Sports
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford "The mark of our time is its revulsion against imposed patterns." (Marshall McLuhan) "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine Recreation and Sports Before marraige a man will like awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage
he will fall asleep before you have finished saying it.
-- Anon. Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Recreation and Sports
"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux Soul meets soul on lovers lips.
-- Percy Bysshe Shelley The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.
-- Adlai Stevenson Recreation and Sports "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) An act of love that fails is just as much a part of the divine life as an act of love that succeeds, for
love is measured by fullness, not by reception.
-- Harold Loukes Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
-- Anonymous Recreation and Sports
Joy is but the sign that creative emotion is fulfilling its purpose.
-- Charles Du Bos "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Recreation and Sports If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) "Death where is thy sting? Love, where is thy glory?" (William Shakespeare) Recreation and Sports
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
-- Karen Sunde Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and
joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not
as They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal "Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts." (Henry B. Adams) "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) Recreation and Sports Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken Recreation and Sports
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) "Frank and explicit; that is the right line to take when you wish to conceal your own mind and to confuse the minds of others." (Benjamin Disraeli, Sybil) Recreation and Sports A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Recreation and Sports
