Lanarkshire Pipe Band - Competing in RSPBA competitions, teaching youngsters and developing piping and drumming in the area. Latest news, profiles and updates are included.
Douglasdale Players - Local drama group in the village of Douglas raising monies for local and national charities. Provides group and show information.
Practical Magic - Touring theatre company based in South Lanarkshire and specialising in small community performances. Past and future shows, profiles and mailing list.
"Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) All over Washington today, the politicians and the power brokers are happy. In fact, if you listen
closely, you can hear the sound of champagne corks popping.
-- Paul Jacob, Term Limits Executive Di A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein South Lanarkshire The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson If pleasures are greatest in anticipation, just remember that this is also true of trouble.
-- Elbert Hubbard Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anonymous South Lanarkshire
Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton The limits of my language means the limits of my world.
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman South Lanarkshire Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 South Lanarkshire
We look forward to the time when the power to love of will replace the love of power. Then will our
world know the blessings of peace.
-- William Gladstone They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday "Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details." (Andy Warhol, America, 1985) Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel South Lanarkshire The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West South Lanarkshire
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.
-- Ralph Marston We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
-- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962 Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac South Lanarkshire blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
-- Steven Wright Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that
can be shot when it breaks down.
-- Russell Baker South Lanarkshire
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.
-- King George V I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson Whoever controls the media--the images--controls the culture.
-- Allen Ginsberg South Lanarkshire Cliches should be avoided like the plague.
-- Anon. LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) South Lanarkshire
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly written.
-- Oscar Wilde Teach a parrot the terms "supply and demand" and you've got an economist.
-- Thomas Carlyle To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson South Lanarkshire Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli South Lanarkshire
I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t Silence is argument carried out by other means.
- ErnestoCheGuevara "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will.
-- James Stephens South Lanarkshire Value your words. Each one may be the last.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian "I've just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the record." (Dylan Thomas, final words) South Lanarkshire
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
-- Lily Tomlin "The masses are far more likely to believe a big lie than several small ones." (Adolf Hitler) "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." (Harry S. Truman) South Lanarkshire I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop South Lanarkshire
"I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The great advantage of being in a rut is that when one is in a rut, one knows exactly where one
is.
-- Arnold Bennett I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West South Lanarkshire The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.
-- Anonymous "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death South Lanarkshire
"People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a
well remembered door.
-- Heywood Brown The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare South Lanarkshire He that would have the fruit must climb the tree.
-- Thomas Fuller, M.D. I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way. South Lanarkshire
There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity "I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough." (M. C. Escher) "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) He who has lost honor can lose nothing more.
-- Publilius Syrus .. I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over
myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long
per South Lanarkshire "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) I'll sleep when I'm dead.
- Warren Zevon South Lanarkshire
