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Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
-- Aaron Levenstein Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn "No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler Music I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) Music
"Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
-- Finley Peter Dunne Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House Music "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau Music
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland "Everybody knows that if you are too careful, you become so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something." (Gertrude Stein) 'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson, In Memoriam, 1850, line 27, stanza 4 To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg Music "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind
woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
-- Adela Rogers St. John Music
"Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Music Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. Music
"Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of
fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality
and Music The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester It is a known fact that men are practical, hardheaded realists, in contrast to women, who are
romantic dreamers and actually believe that estrogenic skin cream must do something or they
couldn't cha Music
Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell "When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Music The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is
when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man
will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.
-- Henry Ford Music
Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed.
-- Oscar Wilde Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous "Workers of the world unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains." (Karl Marx) Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell Music Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "No one ever owns his youth or the women he loves." (Pedro Almodóvar, Live Flesh) Music
"I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness All science is concerned with the relationship of cause and effect. Each scientific discovery
increases man's ability to predict the consequences of his actions and thus his ability to control
futur "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) Music That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Music
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
-- Mark Twain In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler "Learn from the mistakes of others--you can never live long enough to make them all yourself." (John Luther) A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson Music No other success can compensate for failure in the home.
-- David O. McKay, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, Advice to parents at General Conference of he
LDS Church, April, 1964 There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Music
Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind
and understanding. If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the
coachin "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
-- Emiliano Zapata The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Music "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) "Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger." (Franklin P. Jones) Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Music
All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.
-- Albert Einstein Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou Music "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson "Children spell love...T-I-M-E." (Dr. Anthony P. Witham) Music
