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"The intellect is always fooled by the heart." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
-- Richard Braunstein The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Does anal retentive have a hyphen?
-- Seen on a t-shirt "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Chauffeur Driven The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Viewed from the summit of reason, all life looks like a malignant disease and the world like a
madhouse.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Chauffeur Driven
Your every voter, as surely as your chief magistrate, exercises a public trust.
-- Grover Cleveland Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting someone else to do the work.
-- John G. Pollard Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi "In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Chauffeur Driven Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and
tomorrow aint as bad as it seems.
-- Billy Joel I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen Chauffeur Driven
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Pancho Villa, dying words Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Truth can be a dangerous thing. It is quite patient and relentless.
-- R. Scott Richards Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz Chauffeur Driven "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Chauffeur Driven
Thought is action in rehearsal.
-- Sigmund Freud Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good Chauffeur Driven I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like
toxic waste.
-- David Bissonette This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Chauffeur Driven
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) CAPITAL, n. The seat of misgovernment. That which provides the fire, the pot, the dinner, the
table and the knife and fork for the anarchist; the part of the repast that himself supplies is the
disg "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Chauffeur Driven I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner Chauffeur Driven
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
Wretched, bored, dejected; only
here's the rub, my darling dear,
I feel the same when you are here.
-- Samuel Hoffenstein Chauffeur Driven "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel Chauffeur Driven
"Plato was a bore." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson "I'm basically an optimist in life but this doesn't prevent me from deducing as a scientist that we are probably doomed." (Vladimir Chaloupka, physicist, University of Washington, regarding mankind's "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) Chauffeur Driven Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
-- Francis Bacon This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West Chauffeur Driven
Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery "If a man has good corn, or wood, or boards, or pigs to sell, or can make better chairs or knives, crucibles, or church organs, than anybody else, you will find a broad, hard-beaten road to his house, When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his
cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that
Uncl Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what Chauffeur Driven "What dies if freedom lives? What lives if freedom dies?" (Lindsay Anderson, British filmmaker, from if.... (1968) Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers As life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action
of his time, at the peril of being not to have lived.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. Chauffeur Driven
"Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca He would make a lovely corpse.
- Charles Dickens Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Chauffeur Driven Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
-- Oscar Wilde When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Chauffeur Driven
You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Chauffeur Driven No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner "I've never let my school interfere with my education." (Mark Twain) Chauffeur Driven
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.
-- Virginia Woolf Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Elegance of language may not be in the power of all of us; but simplicity and straight forwardness
are. Write much as you would speak; speak as you think. If with your inferior, speak no coarser
tha Chauffeur Driven Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-- Semisonic, Closing Time Chauffeur Driven
