Sports Relief - Comic Relief and BBC Sport's fundraising initiative. Combines sporting celebrities, competitions, games and a live TV show. Information on the activities, the sports, personalities who participate and how to get involved.
Comic Relief - Red Nose Day 2003 - Information about the campaign and their events, with facilities to make donations or purchase merchandise online.
I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Telethons Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde "The monster a child knows best and is most concerned with [is] the monster he feels or fears himself to be. " (Bruno Bettelheim, child psychologist) Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner Telethons
Life is like a movie--since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the
bathroom in the middle of it.
-- Nick Mirov The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.
-- Rita Rudner The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) Telethons To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke I think of my wife and I think of Lot, and I think of the lucky break he got. Telethons
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of
the other person.
-- Mark Twain I could prove God statistically.
-- George Gallup "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of
bread.
- Mahatma Gandhi Telethons "Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb "Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." (George Bernard Shaw) Telethons
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) "If you light a man a fire, he will be warm for a day; if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Anonymous) "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Telethons How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils "The purpose of Compulsory Education is to deprive the common people of their commonsense." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Telethons
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to
know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
- Clarence Darrow, Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Experience is the name every one gives his mistakes.
-- Elbert Hubbard And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. Telethons "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Parents often talk about the younger generations as if they didn't have anything to do with it. "One of the things about acting is it allows you to live other people's lives without having to pay the price. I've never been one of those actors who has touted myself as a fascinating human being. I Telethons
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words All human actions are equivalent... and... all are on principle doomed...
-- Jean-Paul Sartre, "Being and Nothingness" They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Telethons Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Telethons
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
- Carl Gustav Jung Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." (Benjamin Franklin) Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey "I fear we are not getting rid of God because we still believe in grammar." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Telethons The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon Telethons
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do
what he was afraid he couldn't do.
-- Henry Ford "O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!" (William Shakespeare) The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it.
-- Shirley MacLaine Men have a much better time of it than women: for one thing they marry later, for another thing
they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone Telethons "Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss." (Hal Holbrook, Wallstreet) Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Telethons
"The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
-- The Beatles, The last lyric of their last song Telethons If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute. Telethons
Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous Telethons Destiny is but a phrase of the weak human heart - the dark apology for every error. The strong
and virtuous admit no destiny. On earth conscience guides; in heaven God watches. And destiny
is but th A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
-- Dorothy Parker Telethons
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock We must believe in free will, we have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Nobody ever died of laughter.
-- Max Beerbohm Telethons "Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared." (Eddie Rickenbacker) It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
-- Gore Vidal "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Telethons
