He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
-- Edgar Watson Howe The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Benefits My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him! "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl Benefits
'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
-- ee cummings There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying Benefits Good hours, excellent pay, fun place to work, paid training, mean boss. Oh well, four out of five
isn't bad.
-- Help Wanted Ad, PA newspaper, 1994 Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Benefits
They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "Some look at things that are, and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not?" (George Bernard Shaw) The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge Benefits "Hold a true friend with both your hands." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison Benefits
For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"
-- John Greenleaf Whittier They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel "What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger,
as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is
when you r "Whether it is a black cat or a white cat, as long as it can catch the rat, it is a good cat." (Deng Xiao Ping) Benefits If all these sweet young things were laid end to end, I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised.
-- Dorothy Parker Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday
afternoon.
-- Susan Ertz What does not kill me makes me stronger.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Benefits
"The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin, please your Majesty?' he asked. 'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.'" (Lewi Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
- Will Durant They have come up with a perfect understanding. He won't try to run her life, and he won't try to
run his, either.
-- Anonymous Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde Benefits "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero Love cures people, both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.
-- Dr. Karl Menninger Benefits
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!
-- Woody Allen Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
-- Groucho Marx We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and "The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." (David Russell) All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
-- Anonymous Benefits What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings Benefits
Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive, and the true success is to labour.
-- Robert L. Stevenson If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.
-- Beau Brummel I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the
marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.
-- Bette Davis "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t Benefits "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer Benefits
All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Never marry for money. Ye'll borrow it cheaper.
-- Scottish Proverb Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or
failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
-- George R. Kirkpatrick Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker "Education is the process of driving a set of prejudices down your throat." (Martin H. Fischer) Benefits When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already
were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
- Sir Winston Churchill Benefits
"I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby.
-- Nigerian Proverb The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Benefits "Every Man and every Woman is a Star." (Aleister Crowley) When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) Benefits
"The perception of beauty is a moral test." (Henry David Thoreau) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the
lessons that history has to teach.
-- Aldous Huxley Benefits "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Benefits
I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
- Jimmy Durante blah "An engaged woman is always more agreeable than a disengaged. She is satisfied with herself. Her cares are over, and she feels that she may exert all her powers of pleasing without suspicion." ( Benefits I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them. Benefits
