Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
-- Anonymous "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway Orange Order To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Orange Order
"Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of
them, it's considered to be your style.
-- Fred Astaire Once a boy becomes a man, he's a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes
your wife.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell Orange Order The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without
the sympathy of the community.
-- William James Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.
-- David Letterman Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous Orange Order
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde Orange Order "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry. -- Chekhov The first duty of a lecturer: to hand you after an hour's discourse a nugget of pure truth to wrap up
between the pages of your notebooks, and keep on the mantlepiece forever.
-- Virginia Woolf Orange Order
"Those who feel certainty are stupid and those with any imagination or understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts." (Serge Gainsbourg) The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
-- Oscar Wilde "Truth lies not only in a dream, but in many dreams." (Pier Paolo Pasolini, Italian poet, novelist and filmmaker) Orange Order Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton Ninety percent of everything is crap.
-- Theodore Sturgeon Orange Order
If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words When a girl marries she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one.
-- Helen Rowland A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth Orange Order "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Orange Order
"I know that God won't give me more trouble than I can handle ... but sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust me so much." (Mother Teresa) The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other
is ready.
-- Henry David Thoreau Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you
yourself have altered.
-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom Orange Order "Education is a vacine for violence." (Edward James Olmos) I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
-- Fran Lebowitz Use your own best judgment at all times.
-- The entire Nordstrom's Department Stores policy manual Orange Order
"The last Christian died on the cross." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein Orange Order Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
-- St. Francis of Assisi Orange Order
If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up
our minds to walk boldly through them.
-- Orison Swett Marden "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland Orange Order All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost;
-- J.R.R. Tolkein He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake The mistakes are all waiting to be made.
- chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) on the game's opening position Orange Order
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Orange Order "I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--co Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars
-- Les Brown Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Orange Order
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing
popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry Orange Order "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers Orange Order
Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the
problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
- Buckminster Orange Order Do you not know, my son, with what little understanding the world is ruled?
-- Pope Julius III Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell Orange Order
