The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change
it.
-- Colin Wilson "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "I had discovered that a person does not have to be this or be that or be anything, not even oneself. One is free." (Walker Percy, The Moviegoer) Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) Public Service A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. Public Service
Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any
antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
-- Alfred Hitchcock "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." (George Bernard Shaw) The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Public Service The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Public Service
The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Commit yourself to quality from day one ... it's better to do nothing at all than to do something badly." (Mark McCormack) "If I work toward an end, meantime I am confined to a process. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now. And the pot never turns out to be quite what I e Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Public Service In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson
articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are
apparently based "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness.
-- Erica Jong Public Service
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 Everyone admits that love is wonderful and necessary, yet no one agrees on just what it is.
-- Diane Ackerman Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
- George Burns If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley Public Service Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley Public Service
They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
-- Groucho Marx I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin Public Service In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Public Service
Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt "If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?" (Vince Lombardi) If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." (Isadora Duncan) "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the Public Service All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Public Service
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
- George Bernard Shaw To achieve the impossible, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.
-- Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Public Service Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
-- George E. Woodberry The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein A person is not given integrity. It results from the relentless pursuit of honesty at all times.
-- Anon. Public Service
"Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
-- Aesop Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely.
-- Buddha Not much meat on her, but what's there is choice.
-- Spencer Tracy, about Katharine Hepburn Public Service The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer Public Service
Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
-- Winnie the Pooh, character from author A. A. Milne For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Public Service Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.
-- Sigmund Freud Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through
self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
-- Helen Keller Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi Public Service
"Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of
our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
-- John Adams In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung Public Service Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
-- George Saunders - last words He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Public Service
Parents are the bones upon which children sharpen their teeth.
-- Peter Ustinov "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for i have seen yesterday and i love today!" (William Allen White) You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same
joke and still feel lonely.
-- T. S. Eliot Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license. Public Service "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
- Albert Giacometti (sculptor) If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
-- Aristotle Onassis Public Service
