Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (Ambrose Redmoon) C Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would
be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) D Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost C
An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don't win many accuracy
contests, but they keep the crowd's attention.
-- Anonymous Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of the dream." (Eleanor Roosevelt) Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works." (Michael Douglas, as Gordon Gekko, Wall Street, 1987) C "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy
the waking hours much more.
-- Woody Allen Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way
around the laws.
- Plato C
Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
-- Lyn Karol Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board Goodbye, Everybody!
-- Hart Crane, poet, who committed suicide by jumping overboard during a steamship voyage. C Conversation, fastidious Goddess, loves blood better than brick, and feasts most subtly on the
human will.
-- Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on
a date.
-- Caroline Rhea C
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) We can do not great things - only small things with great love.
-- Mother Theresa "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa "The overman ... Who has organized the chaos of his passions, given style to his character, and become creative. Aware of life's terrors, he affirms life without resentment." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietz C Go away...I'm alright.
-- H. G. Wells, dying words "To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." (Elbert Hubbard, American author, 1856-1915) blah "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." (Thomas Jefferson) C
blah blah blah blah blah "This is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot) _end]
[text_start]
"Hello Kitty is an icon that doesn't stand for a I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" The telephone company is urging people to *please* not use the telephone unless it is absolutely
necessary in order to keep the lines open for emergency personnel. We'll be right back after this
bre A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra C The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. -- Borge "We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones." (Andrew A. Rooney) C
Property may be destroyed and money may lose its purchasing power; but, character, health,
knowledge and good judgement will always be in demand under all conditions.
-- Roger Babson Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis C We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) C
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in
accordance with the dictates of reason.
-- Oscar Wilde Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France C Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words Love is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise.
-- Samuel Johnson C
Why don't you write books people can read?
-- Nora Joyce, to her husband James Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." (Eda J. Le Shan) C "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen C
To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father. Some birds aren't meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away,
the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up, does rejoice. I guess I just miss my friend. I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived C "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) "One can do without people but one has need of a friend." (Chinese Proverb) Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller C
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause
we believe to be just.
-- Abraham Lincoln Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde C History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch C
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this
is true.
-- James Branch Cabell, The Silver Stallion For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy We seek the comfort of another. Someone to share and share the life we choose. Someone to
help us through the neverending attempt to understand ourselves. And in the end, someone to
comfort us along Ridicule is generally made use of to laugh men out of virtue and good sense, by attacking
everything praiseworthy in human life.
-- Joseph Addison C "A man must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness." (Jean Genet) Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder "Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism." (Dave Barry) C
