Before I married, I had three theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three
children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw D I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers The only thing you take with you when you're gone is what you leave behind.
-- John Allston Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 D
Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet
enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent p Life is not an easy matter.... You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism
unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above
weakness Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get
money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock D You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
-- M. Hirschfield D
I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-- Voltaire D Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued ... Reason: it has been
reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
-- excerpt from a letter, Illinois Depart Genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration.
-- Thomas Edison D
Discovery consists of looking at the same thing as everyone else does and thinking something
different.
-- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, 1937 Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.
-- George Orwell In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac D Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
-- Lewis Grizzard "REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) D
Ambition is not a vice of little people.
-- Michel de Montaigne If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: "Give little, give seldom, and above all,
give grudgingly." Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of
sexual "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." (Dorothy Parker, 1893-1967, US writer) Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
-- Steven Wright D The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine "Have you ever fed your pocket and starved your soul?" (Ivana Santilli, Too Deep) D
"Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Books, like friends, should be few and well chosen.
-- Samuel Paterson Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
-- Rita Rudner There are three great friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
-- Benjamin Franklin D Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde the social sciences were for all those who had not yet decided what to do with their lives, and for
all those whose premature frustrations led them into the sterile alleys of confrontation.
-- Peter D
A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The
rest is trust.
-- Nanette Newman, British actress Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde "The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) If we don't change the direction we are going,
We are likely to end up where we are heading.
-- Chinese saying "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) D Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx Trust, but verify.
-- Ronald Reagan D
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Man and wife make one fool. Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." (Joan Rivers) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey D There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Matters of religion should never be matters of controversy. We neither argue with a lover about
his taste, not condemn him, if we are just, for knowing so human a passion.
-- George Santayana All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer D
Live truth instead of professing it.
-- Elbert Hubbard Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke The course of true love never did run smooth.
-- William Shakespeare "A true friend stabs you in the front." (Oscar Wilde) Anything too stupid to be said, is sung.
-- Voltaire D Genius is an African who dreams up snow.
-- Vladimir Nabokov If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou "Use what talents you possess; The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best." (William Blake) D
"The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) The nation's honor is dearer than the nation's comfort; yes, than the nation's life itself.
-- Woodrow Wilson Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( D Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity,
ign D
May you be blessed with a wife so healthy and strong, she can pull the plow when your horse drops dead. Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it?
-- James Thurber Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin D Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.
-- Nathan Hale D
