Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
-- Albert Einstein The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.
-- Lord Byron In marriage, the bridge gets a shower. But for the groom, it's curtains! F Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve
them.
-- Robert Graves F
The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig "God is Man's stupidest idea." (Marcel Duchamp, French Dadaist) "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. Marriage still confers one very special privilege - only a married person can get divorced. F I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope F
The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain "A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized." (Fred Allen) An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested
he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie Journalism is merely history's first draft.
-- Geoffrey C. Ward Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe F He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. F
"The easiest kind of relationship is with ten thousand people, the hardest is with one." (Joan Baez) The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
-- Margo Kaufman This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Dreams never hurt anybody if you keep working right behind the dreams to make as much of
them become real as you can.
-- Frank W. Woolworth Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw F I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard F
It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes.
-- Brendan Hills A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein F For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate,
the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
-- Rainer Maria Ril blah bl "Less is more." (Robert Browning) "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) F
Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
-- Christopher Morley If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Stung by the splendour of a sudden thought.
-- Robert Browning F I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian F
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein True, we love life, not because we are used to living, but because we are used to loving. There is
always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness.
-- Friedrich Nietzsch Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
-- B.F. Skinner F "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
-- Robert Benchley A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II F
The bottom line is that (a) people are never perfect, but love can be, (b) that is the one and only
way that the mediocre and vile can be transformed, and (c) doing that makes it that. We waste
time Hope, like faith, is nothing if it is not courageous; it is nothing if it is not ridiculous.
-- Thornton Wilder "One of the good things about low self-esteem is never having rain hit you in the face." (John A. Simone Jr.) He that always gives way to others will end in having no principles of his own.
-- Aesop "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) F blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Never judge a book by its movie.
-- J. W. Eagan F
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to
be grateful.
-- Phyllis McGinley Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken I don't mind if you don't like my manners. I don't like them myself. They're pretty bad. I grieve over
them on long winter evenings.
-- Humphrey Bogart to Lauren Bacall, in "The Big Sleep" F A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken "Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something." (Plato, 427 BC-348) F
When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for the appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George Bernard Shaw Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-- Ambrose Bierce I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
-- Woody Allen blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) F If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) "I consider it the highest compliment when my employees go out and start their own companies in competition with me. I always send them a plant to wish them well. Of course, it's a cactus." (Norman B F
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming.
-- Wehrner von Braun The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen Men have a much better time of it than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H.L. Mencken It makes no difference who you vote for - the two parties are really one party representing four
percent of the people.
-- Gore Vidal Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous F The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. "The most beautiful things in the world are the most useless, peacocks and lilies, for instance." (John Ruskin) "The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) F
