In medieval times, people thought that evil spirits could enter a person through an open mouth.
These days they more often leave that way.
-- David Deckert "The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely." (Napoleon Bonaparte) I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
-- Albert Einstein Film Crew Of the seven dwarves, only Dopey had a shaven face. This should tell us something about the
custom of shaving.
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All "Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Film Crew
The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Film Crew I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
-- G. K. Chesterton "One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words Film Crew
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Men are strong only so long as they represent a strong idea. They become powerless when they
oppose it.
-- Sigmund Freud Film Crew "To make a living, craftiness is better than learnedness." (Pierre-Augustin de Beaumarchais) Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
-- Ghandi Film Crew
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley Film Crew You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler The child is the father of the man.
-- William Wordsworth Marriage is an institution--but who wants to live in an institution? Film Crew
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford If you don't know how to do something, you don't know how to do it with a computer.
-- Anon. Film Crew If God created us in His image we have certainly returned the compliment.
-- Voltaire In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor Film Crew
Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland Film Crew One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
[text_end]
[text_start]
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright A behaviorist is someone who pulls habits out of rats.
-- Anonymous Film Crew
I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those
little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like
what you are getting.
-- Anonymous Film Crew "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
- Saint Augustine "Is man merely a mistake of God's? Or God merely a mistake of man's?" (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Film Crew
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) What is the answer? In that case, what is the question?
-- Gertrude Stein, dying words A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz I don't feel good.
-- Luther Burbank, dying words Film Crew The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may
well be another profound truth.
-- Niels Bohr Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain Film Crew
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) "Defeat the fear of death and welcome the death of fear." (G. Gordon Liddy) This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Film Crew Truth must necessarily be stranger than fiction, for fiction is the creation of the human mind and
therefore congenial to it.
-- G. K. Chesterton Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen Film Crew
"Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few." (George Bernard Shaw) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before
marriage, which is never advisable.
-- Oscar Wilde I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) Film Crew "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending that haunts our sleep so much as the fear ... that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived." (Rabbi H "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra Film Crew
Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
-- James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla He who awaits much can expect little.
-- Gabriel Garcia Marquez The gods too are fond of a joke.
- Aristotle Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Film Crew If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Film Crew
