"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
-- Chinese Proverb To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.
-- Helen Keller You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra G There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and
discipline.
-- Michel de Montaigne "The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced." (André Gide) This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous G
You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Icky icky icky icky fKANG zoop-boing n zowzyin...
-- The Knights who so recently said "Nee!", Monty Python, British comedy television show "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. G The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
- Lucille S. Harper G
Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis "In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) "They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself." (Andy Warhol) Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) G The fate of love is that it always seems too little or too much.
-- Anonymous Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire G
Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you apologize for truth.
-- Benjamin Disraeli If you don't double-click me, I can't do anything.
-- John Aniston, on how computers have taken over his life G "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell G
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.
-- Otto von Bismarck Hark, the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things!
-- Tom Lehrer I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to
contact us.
-- Bill Watterson, in his comic strip Calvin and Hobbes G Guys are lucky because they get to grow mustaches. I wish I could. It's like having a little pet for
your face.
-- Anita Wise "Ask five economists and you'll get five different answers (six if one went to Harvard)." (Edgar R. Fiedler) Democracy is the name we give the people whenever we need them.
-- Marquis de Flers Robert and Arman de Caillavet G
They're almost inseparable. Sometimes it takes ten people to separate them.
-- Anonymous When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
-- Wilson Mizner This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a losttradition.
-- Jacques Barzun I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin G Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli A multiple personality is in a certain sense normal.
-- George H. Mead "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." (Helen Keller) G
Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in
freedom.
-- Albert Einstein "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it." (Ashleigh Brilliant) Joint Checking Account: a handly little device which permits my wife to beat me to the draw. "Jesus died too soon. If he had lived to my age he would have repudiated his doctrine." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker G MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two
slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Spinster: A bachelor's wife. G
If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you
get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a
When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) G The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who
marries a man to reform him.
-- Elbert Hubbard "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) G
I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
- Jean-Paul Sartre "If you believe everything you read, you better not read." (Japanese Proverb) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain G "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West G
"Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." (John Berger) ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Here's to you and here's to me,
and I hope we never disagree.
But, if that should ever be,
to HELL with you, here's to ME!
-- Anonymous I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein G Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
-- Bobcat Goldthwait G
Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-- Sacha Guitry "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller G He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
- Sir Winston Churchill I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw G
