Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
-- Tom Robbins The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "The reason why kids are crazy is because nobody can face the responsibility of bringing them up." (John Lennon) The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th Musicians "How is it that we never have time to do a job right, but we always have time to do it over?" (Anonymous) Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Musicians
"One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner If ever I get married again it would have to be under an anaesthetic.
-- Marie Tonkin Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant
day into your answers.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke Musicians In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that
no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
-- Paul Dirac "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Musicians
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Musicians "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The better part of valor is discretion.
-- William Shakespeare 1564-1616 from King Henry the Fourth, Part I "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Musicians
The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
-- B. F. Skinner Victory belongs to the most persevering.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle Musicians Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf, Bernard, in The Waves, 1931; repr. 1943, p. 189 Musicians
Luck is the residue of design.
- Branch Rickey - former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
-- Calvin A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you and education." (Wilson Mizner) Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who
can't read.
-- Frank Zappa Musicians Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken Musicians
I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good
reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde Half of the American people never read a newspaper.
Half never voted for President.
One hopes it is the same half.
-- Gore Vidal Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Musicians There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers Man is a natural polygamist. He always has one woman leading him by the nose and another
hanging on to his coattails.
-- H. L. Mencken No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin Musicians
"I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
-- M. C. Reed An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Musicians "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous "Things do not change, we change." (Henry David Thoreau) Musicians
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano blah "The length of this document defends it well against the risk of its being read." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) A friend is a gift you give yourself.
-- Robert Louis Stevenson The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.
- Von Clausewitz Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Musicians "Brevity is the soul of wit." (William Shakespeare) "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand Musicians
I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane "A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Musicians He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Intelligence has nothing to do with politics.
-- Londo Molari "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Musicians
One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio Wit is educated insolence.
- Aristotle I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put
over my kitchen table.
-- Rodney Dangerfield We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni Musicians "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald
spot.
-- Elayne Boosler There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. It elevates the thoughts and
flattens the stomachs.
-- Barbara Howar Musicians
In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht Musicians In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest proposal that our Universe is
simply one of those things which happen from time to time.
-- Edward P. Tryon Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov Musicians
