"In married life three is company and two is none." (Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest) The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except what is worth knowing.
Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies their demands.
-- Oscar Wilde If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley Royalty A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt Royalty
"He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from I don't want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.
-- Henry James "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "What is most appealing about young folks, after all, is the changes, not the still photograph of finished character but the movie, the soul in flux." (Thomas Pynchon) Royalty Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt.
-- Herbert Hoover Royalty
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well meaning, but without understanding." (Louis Brandeis) The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Royalty "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.
-- Mark Twain Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs Royalty
The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died Royalty We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.
-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-
Box.
-- Wil Shriner Royalty
"To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job
will cost.
-- Anon The best defense is a good offense.
-- Anonymous Royalty I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.
-- Doug MacLeod What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Royalty
We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were
reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing,
and One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Have love for your friend up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your enemy some day; and hate your enemy up to a limit for it is possible he may turn into your friend some day." (Ali bin Success is just a matter of attitude.
-- Darcy E. Gibbons Royalty I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.
-- Gandhi If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them
missionaries for dinner.
-- H. L. Mencken "When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be." (Henry Van Dyke) Royalty
Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."
-- Anonymous "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart Royalty Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is blissfully
ignorant.
--John Simon I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.
-- Gilda Radner "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Royalty
In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose
shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) All you need is love.
-- The Beatles, song title Royalty Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance.
-- Oscar Wilde Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Royalty
I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker I once asked my history teacher how we were expected to learn anything useful from his subject,
when it seemed to me to be nothing but a monotonous and sordid succession of robber baron
scumbags dev I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin Royalty Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a
holding pattern over Philadelphia.
-- Judith Viorst "Nobody minds having what is too good for them." (Jane Austen) Royalty
Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love.
-- French saying Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words Royalty In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar--a practice which is still continued.
-- Helen Rowland Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
-- Virginia Woolf If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Royalty
The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, give me the electric chair for all my
future crimes.
-- Prince Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs Two souls with but a single thought,
Two hearts that beat as one.
-- Fredrich Halm Royalty I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a
lot less.
-- Brendon Behan >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Royalty
