For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.
-- Helen Rowland God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns S I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all
over it and put your name at the top.
-- English Professor, Ohio University To write a good love letter, you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and to
finish without knowing what you have written.
-- Jean Jacques Rousseau Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. S
He who kisses the joy is it flies lives in eternity's sunrise
-- William Blake Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo "That's the true sign. If the lover has not yet achieved his prize, his eyes will follow the woman, while she appears indifferent. But once he's gained his goal, it's the woman's eyes that follow him, Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain S When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
-- Winston Churchill "I am the lizard king. I can do anything." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) S
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 "It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question." (Eugene Ionesco) People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres S "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) People may or may not say what they mean ... but they always say something designed to get
what they want.
-- David Mamet The planting of trees is the least self-centered of all that we can do. It is a purer act of faith than
the procreation of children.
-- Thornton Wilder S
The real questions are the ones that obtrude upon your consciousness whether you like it or not,
the ones that make your mind start vibrating like a jackhammer, the ones that you 'come to terms
with The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going
to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen "A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James I have a daughter who goes to SMU. She could've gone to UCLA here in California, but it's one
more letter she'd have to remember.
-- Shecky Greene S With the catching end the pleasures of the chase.
-- Abraham Lincoln I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible
by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain S
"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 S More than kisses, letters mingle souls.
-- John Donne Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
-- Ernest Hemingway Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the
time by watching the second hand of a clock.
-- Ben Hecht S
"In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.
-- Salvador Dali The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live S "I do not suppose I shall be remembered for anything. But I don't think about my work in those terms. It is just as vulgar to work for the sake of posterity as to work for the sake of money." (George And I shall love thee still my dear, Until my wife is wise. ...the fog is rising.
-- Emily Dickinson, dying words S
Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
-- Albert Camus Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf "We have to be able to criticise what we love, to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying to make something better, than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way." (Ani Difranco) Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all The work of internal government has become the task of controlling the thousands of fifth-rate
men.
-- Henry B. Adams S The crime bill passed by the Senate would reinstate the Federal death penalty for certain violent
crimes: assassinating the President; hijacking an airliner; and murdering a government poultry
inspe Marriage is like a cage--one sees the birds outside desperate to get in and those inside equally
desparate to get out.
-- Di Peatlins People say "I want peace." If you remove I {ego}, and your want {desire}, you are left with peace.
-- Satya Sai Baba S
"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.
-- Norman R. Augustine "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first. "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit." (Aristotle) S Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein "If you meet a woman that smokes cigars ... marry her." (Arthur Lotti) S
blah "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together." (Vincent van Gogh) "Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential..." ( "Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, 'What?! You too! Thought I was the only one.'" (Clive Staples Lewis) A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
-- Joseph Addison A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington S I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. S
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." (Albert Einstein) Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
-- John Rogers, comedian (who holds a graduate degree in physics) Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.
-- Anton Chekhov S Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.
-- H. L. Mencken To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.
-- Francis Crawford S
"The reward of a thing well done is having done it." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis It is because modern education is so seldom inspired by a great hope that it so seldom achieves
great results. The wish to preserve the past rather that the hope of creating the future dominates
the S You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
-- American Proverb Honor's a thing too subtle for wisdom; if honor lie in eating, he's right honorable.
-- Beaumont, Francis "Character is determined more by the lack of certain experiences than by those one has had." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) S
