If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted
by a little physical antipathy.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche Friends need not agree in everything or go always together, or have no comparable other
friendships of the same intimacy. On the contrary, in friendship union is more about ideal things:
and in that I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
-- Francois-Auguste Rodin, when asked how he managed to make his remarkable statues You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war they kill you in a new way.
-- Will Rogers Sports People He who receives an idea from me receives instruction for himself without lessening mine; as he
who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me.
-- Thomas Jefferson Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) Sports People
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Sports People Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add
up.
-- Anon I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Sports People
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell He who laughs last thinks slowest.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker "Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent." (Napoleon Bonaparte) Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith Sports People All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.
-- Chad A. Gamble, Escape, short story I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
- Frederick (II) the Great I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Sports People
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it;
whenever you're right, shut up.
-- Ogden Nash The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis You cannot create experience. You must undergo it.
-- Albert Camus A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Sports People Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Sports People
The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the
chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.
- unknown If the government wants people to respect the law, it should set a better example.
-- Anon. The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I
have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
- George Bernard Shaw I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
-- Groucho Marx "I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks." (Andy Warhol, The Andy Warhol Diaries, 1989) Sports People "Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily." (Napoleon Bonaparte) "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th Sports People
"For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?" (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) "To educate educators! But the first ones must educate themselves! And for these I write." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Sports People I worship the quicksand he walks in.
- Art Buchwald Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Sports People
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard This book fills a much-needed gap.
- Moses Hadas in a review Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason Sports People He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht >From the Far East I send you one single thought, one sole idea--written in red on every
beachhead form Australia to Tokyo--There is no substitute for victory!
-- General Douglas MacArthur I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Sports People
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, "Certainly, I can!" Then get busy and find
out how to do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain Sports People Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Sports People
>From error to error one discovers the entire truth.
-- Sigmund Freud If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavours to live the life which
one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
-- Henry David Thoreau "Deep down, no one really believes they have a right to live. But this death sentence generally stays tucked away, hidden beneath the difficulty of living. If that difficulty is removed from time to t Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Sports People "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive." (Samuel Goldwyn) Sports People
"Majority rule only works if you're also considering individual rights. Because you can't have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper." (Larry Flynt) "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) "Great spirits have always faced voilent protest from mediocre minds." (Albert Einstein) "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) "Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) Sports People It is most unwise for people in love to marry.
-- George Bernard Shaw "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
-- Hector Louis Berlioz Sports People
"If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
-- Jilly Cooper "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how
to make it interesting.
-- Milton Berle, when called to the microphone at the 2nd Annual Comedians Hal Sports People Asking an incumbent member of Congress to vote for term limits is a bit like asking a chicken to
vote for Colonel Sanders.
-- Bob Inglis, 1995 It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
- Albert Einstein Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and
begin slitting throats.
- Henry Louis Mencken Sports People
