Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only
hope to find in their butlers.
-- W. Somerset Maugham I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different.
-- Tony Bennett, 1995 Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.
-- Shane Leslie "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." (William Blake) The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted
in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism.
-- Heidi Hartmann, The Unha Scientists He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln "Better is the enemy of good." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. Scientists
What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat
guy in the third row exists?
-- Woody Allen "An able man shows his spirit by gentle words and resolute actions; he is neither hot nor timid." (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th earl of) There are trivial truths, and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
-- Neils Bohr Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Scientists Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to
us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
-- Jeff Raskin Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Scientists
The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.
-- Giraudoux Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and
illiterate sport fishermen.
-- P. J. O'Rourke There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Scientists Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Oscar Hammerstein, working lyric for a piece from "The Sound of Music" I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and
blows up the bonfire.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld Scientists
I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but
as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.
-- Mae West Scientists Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree.
-- Oscar Wilde "I am interested in anything about revolt, disorder , chaos--especially activity that seems to have no meaning. It seems to me to be the road toward freedom ... Rather than starting inside, I start ou By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune Scientists
Whatever you are, be a good one.
-- Abraham Lincoln The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth.
-- John Lyly Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler Scientists I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau Scientists
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller ... it is certain that the real function of art is to increase our self-consciousness; to make us more
aware of what we are, and therefore of what the universe in which we live really is. And since
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard What we anticipate seldom occurs: but what we least expect generally happens.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll Scientists I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 "If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." (Anatole France) Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most important that you do it.
-- Gandhi Scientists
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.
-- George Santayana Scientists "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) There are no days in life so memorable as those which vibrated to some stroke of the
imagination.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." (George Washington) Scientists
Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
-- Gloria Vanderbilt One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good
reputation.
-- Oscar Wilde I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison "There cannot be a God because, if there were one, I would not believe that I was not He." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Scientists Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?
-- Michael Meissner Television: A medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.
-- Ernie Kovacs It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Scientists
Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais Scientists I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
-- Katherine Cebrian The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler Scientists
Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov "If you want to make enemies, try to change something." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Scientists "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) "A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad." (Anonymous) Scientists
In the late 1600s the finest instruments originated from three rural families whose workshops
were side by side in the Italian village of Cremona. First were the Amatis, and outside their shop
hung I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a
woman.
-- Virginia Woolf We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may blah "Ability wins us the esteem of the true men; luck that of the people." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
-- Nancy Mitford Scientists "Hold the fort! I am coming!" (General William Tecumseh Sherman) "The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." (Samuel Butler) "The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves." (William Hazlitt) Scientists
