Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock, American pediatrician, address to new parents Life is the flower for which love is the honey.
-- Victor Hugo "There is only one success: to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it." (Christopher Darlington Morley) I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli "It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what other men say in whole books--what other men do not say in whole books." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols) 2000 Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
-- Clare Boothe Luce Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 2000
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-- Red Buttons Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Everywhere I go, I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle
enough of them.
-- Flannery O'Connor The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein 2000 It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
- Martin Fraquhar Tupper I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson 2000
Love is an attempt to change a piece of the dream-world into reality.
-- Theodor Reik Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words "Yes, I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world." (Oscar Wilde) The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill 2000 "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal "In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat." (Robert Byrne) 2000
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-- Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good I was going to change my shirt, but I changed my mind instead.
-- Winnie the Pooh Be willing to make decisions. That's the most important quality in a good leader. Don't fall victim
to what I call the 'ready-aim-aim-aim-aim syndrome.' You must be willing to fire.
-- Gen. George The philosophy exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I
was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.
-- Smith & Jones Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton 2000 "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
-- P. J. O'Rourke "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) 2000
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.
-- Abraham Lincoln Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. "Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." (G. Randolf) 2000 When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
-- Anatole France Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
-- Laurence J. Peter When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws. 2000
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Each of us has a spark of life inside us, and our highest endeavor ought to be to set off that spark
in one another.
-- Kenny Ausubel Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
-- Fred Hoyle Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
-- Mae West 2000 Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't
take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates...
-- Anonymous I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
-- Sam Kinison 2000
The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely the one who dropped it.
-- Lou Holtz "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon
compounds that crawl.
-- Mike Adams NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows
how to make us disobedient.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein 2000 A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
-- Arthur Schoperhauer "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food." (George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman) Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky 2000
"Of all mankind the great poet is the equable man." (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass, 1855) "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Who, being loved, is poor?
-- Oscar Wilde Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for
him.
-- Rich Little 2000 A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) "Twelve magicians and two carnies have been shot dead doing the bullet catch. That's cool enough, but every night when we close our show with that trick and the loaded gun gets pointed in my face, it "People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll have good voice boxes in case there's ever anything really meaningful to say." (Kurt Vonnegut) 2000
Now comes the mystery.
-- Henry Ward Beecher, dying words, March 8, 1887 The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be
feasible.
- A Yale University management professor in response to student Fred Smith's paper prop Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane blah "A subject for a great poet would be God's boredom after the seventh day of creation." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) 2000 The great end of life is not knowledge, but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they
can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and
stupid from Hardly a year passes that fails to find a new, oft-times exotic, research method or technique
added to the armamentarium of political inquiry. Anyone who cannot negotiate Chi squares,
assess randomi Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw 2000
"Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) "Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could be, and he will become what he should be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. 2000 Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. To die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
-- Anatole France ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 2000
"To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." (Galileo Galilei) "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
- Mario Andretti Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken 2000 "I expect nothing. I fear no one. I am free." (Nikos Kazantzakis) Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it
pure ignorance?
-- Holbrook Jackson Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first. 2000
