Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth "What a curious phenomenon it is that you can get men to die for the liberty of the world who will not make the little sacrifice that is needed to free themselves from their own individual bondage." Cardiff International The unfortunate thing about this world is that the good habits are much easier to give up than the
bad ones.
-- W. Somerset Maugham "No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
-- Ziggy, character in comic strip by Tom Wilson Cardiff International
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
-- Lily Tomlin "If there is something to pardon in everything, there is also something to condemn." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Will to Power, 1888) "The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances." (Viktor E. Frankl) Never try to teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time and annoys the pig.
-- Anon. Love matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn
themselves to a life of vinegar.
-- Countess of Blessington Cardiff International "Fake is as old as the Eden tree." (George Orson Welles) Where there is an unknowable there is a promise.
-- Thornton Wilder I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Cardiff International
"Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them." (Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance) Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Look not mournfully into the Past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the Present. It is
thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy Future, without fear, and with a manly heart.
-- Henry Wadsworth Lo The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.
-- Winston Churchill Cardiff International She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
-- Rose Franken In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work Cardiff International
In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
-- Carl Friedrich Gauss, when informed that his wife was dying "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone) Cardiff International Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi An eye for an eye only leads to more blindness.
-- Margaret Atwood I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
-- Virginia Woolf Cardiff International
Hell is other people.
- Jean-Paul Sartre My good intentions are completely lethal.
-- Margaret Atwood It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
- Oscar Wilde "True friends, like diamonds, are precious and rare. False friends, like autumn leaves, are found everywhere." (Anonymous) The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Cardiff International Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.
-- Michael Leunig They had a dispute about a night out with the boys. But he finally decided to let her go.
-- Anonymous I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Cardiff International
I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and
why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and
inex "There is nothing more fearful than ignorance in action." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, 1749-1832, Criticisms, Reflections and Maxims) Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning
there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have
people all Cardiff International A theory is something nobody believes, except the person who made it. An experiment is
something everybody believes, except the person who made it.
-- Albert Einstein, attributed The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and
science.
-- Albert Einstein When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Cardiff International
Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, It is a
thing to be acheived.
-- William Jennings Bryant Chase after the truth like all hell and you'll free yourself, even though you never touch its
coattails.
-- Clarence Darrow Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov Cardiff International If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all.
-- Anonymous "When you resort to attacking the messenger and not the message, you have lost the debate." (Addison Whithecomb) I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.
-- Oscar Wilde Cardiff International
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
- Frank Lloyd Wright Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the
second, "For my best friend."
-- Anonymous Cardiff International Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW To love another person is to see the face of God.
-- Lyric from Les Miserables Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
-- Emily Dickinson Cardiff International
It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature.
-- Henry James The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.
-- Emerson, Ralph Waldo A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
-- Robert Frost "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Cardiff International Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-- Steven Wright I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 Cardiff International
Establishing yourself, furnishing a house, building up a comfortable existence, and having that menace hanging over your head all the time - no, I prefer to live in hotels, cafés, just passing through "Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Walk beside me and just be my friend." (Albert Camus) If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel "Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) Cardiff International Beware you be not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.
-- John Wesley We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
-- Agnes Repplier Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
-- Anonymous Cardiff International
The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
-- Jenny Weber For best results: wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good
results: drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
-- Laundry instructions on a shirt The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr Cardiff International There are many things worth living for, there are a few things worth dying for, but there is nothing
worth killing for.
-- Tom Robbins There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to
be a coincidence.
-- Jeremy S. Anderson Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
-- Oscar Wilde Cardiff International
