My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Marriage is a rest period between romances. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
-- Marvin Kitman Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill Education Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best
to become the best you are capable of becoming.
-- John R. Wooden, Practical Modern Basketball Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman Education
"Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it.
-- Tom Robbins Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous "One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Education Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. Education
Universities incline wits to sophistry and affectation.
-- Francis Bacon She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In
this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
-- Marianne Williamson He early on let her know who is the boss. He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're
the boss."
-- Anonymous Education Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
-- Anonymous The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle Education
If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War "Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing them back to you when you have forgotten the words." (Anonymous) Ah, well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
-- Oscar Wilde, dying words I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to
me is something else; hard work and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't.
-- Lucille Ball "The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Education Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch "Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal." (Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910) Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
-- Simeon Strunsky Education
"REASONABLE, adj. Accessible to the infection of our own opinions. Hospitable to persuasion, dissuasion and evasion." (Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary) If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Now is the time for all good men to come to.
-- Walt Kelly Education Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson All courage is a form of constancy. It is always himself that a coward abandons first. After this all
other betrayals come.
-- Cormac McCarthy "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) Education
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell "I would rather die standing than live on my knees!" (Emiliano Zapata) My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward Education Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell "It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." (William Blake) "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Education
She felt in italics and thought in capitals.
-- Henry James Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
-- H. L. Mencken "As is our confidence, so is our capacity." (William Hazlitt) "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) "The biggest argument against democracy is a five minute discussion with the average voter." (Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965) Education Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Love is stronger than justice.
-- Sting We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins Education
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
-- Paula Poundstone Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
-- Henry Ford Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
-- Anonymous Experience is the worst teacher; it gives the test before presenting the lesson.
-- Vernon Law We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game Education Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances
continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance Whining is not only graceless, but can be dangerous. It can alert a brute that a victim is in the
neighborhood.
-- Maya Angelou Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous Education
"Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Martyrdom... is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. George Bernard
Shaw (1856 - 1950), The Devil's Disciple (1901) act 3 You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's
arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.
-- Jonathan Carroll, Outside Education The fantasy which serves as a support for the figure of the Stalinist Communist is therefore
exactly the same as the fantasy which is at work in the Tom and Jerry cartoons.
-- Slavoj Zizek "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") Education
"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world." (John Steinbeck "A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." (William Shakespeare) Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.
-- Phillip Brooks University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger "Liberty has never come from the government. Liberty has always come from the subjects of it. The history of liberty is a history of resistance. The history of liberty is a history of limitations of g Education Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at the
moment.
-- Robert Benchley Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
-- Abraham Lincoln "I always thought a dog-lover was a dog who loved another dog." (James Thurber) Education
The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the
false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.
-- Salvador Dali In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia I still live.
-- Daniel Webster, dying words "Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you. You may gi Education "Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.
-- Cecilia Egan "Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same." (George Bernard Shaw) Education
