Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.
-- Jim Beggs "Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under." (Henry Louis Mencken) Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than
yourself.
-- William Faulkner The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage, they are giving evidence at an
inquest.
-- H. L. Mencken Education How could they tell?
-- Dorothy Parker, upon hearing that President Coolidge had died The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband bein' big enough to keep his mouth
shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong.
-- Archie Bunker, character on "All in the Family, I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
- Steven Wright Education
"The order of the world is always right - such is the judgment of God. For God has departed, but he has left his judgment behind, the way the Cheshire Cat left his grin." (Jean Baudrillard) It is best to learn as we go, not go as we have learned.
-- Leslie Jeanne Sahler Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
- Irving Kristol Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson Launch out into the deep. One discovers by living in scorn of consequence.
-- Essie Summers Education "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
- Helen Rowland He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke.
-- Terry Cohen Education
"Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery." (Andy Warhol) "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson Great ability develops and reveals itself increasingly with every new assignment. Baltasar
Gracian The west wasn't won on salad.
-- ND Beef Council, billboard advertisement, 1990 Education Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.
-- Harriet Beecher Stowe "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home.
-- Betty Bender Education
"I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) "Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do." (Dale Carnegie) "When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of all the other men of her acquaintance for the inattention of just one." (Helen Rowland) "You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." (Albert Camus, The Fall) May you never leave your marriage alive. Education Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
-- Philip K. Dick Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
- Gail Godwin If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from Education
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
-- Don Stanford Education "I'm the artist formally known as Beck. I have a genius wig. When I put that wig on, then the true genius emerges. I don't have enough hair to be a genius. I think you have to have hair going everywhe "Better to be deprived of food for three days than tea for one." (Chinese Proverb) "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Education
Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
-- Robert A. Humphrey "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly." (Bill Mahe "Conform and be dull." (J. Frank Doble) Education It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out next morning it was
someone else.
-- Rogers In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) Education
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Mathematics transfigures the fortuitous concourse of atoms into the tracery of the finger of God.
-- Herbert Westren Turnbull Only the little people pay taxes.
-- Leona Helmsley, hotel owner and prison inmate, 1989 "A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." (Henry B. Adams) "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) Education The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde This isn't right, this isn't even wrong.
- Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958), upon reading a young physicist's paper Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower Education
"Great indebtedness does not make men grateful, but vengeful; and if a little charity is not forgotten, it turns into a gnawing worm." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra) Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana It's important to be open-minded, but not SO open-minded that your brains fall out.
-- Rick Radebaugh Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) A dollar saved is a quarter earned.
-- John Ciardi Education Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.
-- Thornton Wilder The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
-- Rita Mae Brown Education
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
- Henry Ford May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior.
-- Confucius The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than
you is a maniac.
-- George Carlin Education Just buy a box of popcorn and a Coca-Cola and sit back and watch.
-- James Carville, Clinton advisor, offering advice for Democrats on the term-limits vote in the
House We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly,
what is essential is invisible to the eye.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Education
Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong." (Muhammad Ali) "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." (Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791) Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem.
-- John Galsworthy "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Education The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) Education
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
-- Virginia Woolf "Do you know that places only yield up their secrets, their most profound mysteries, to those who are just passing through?" (Salman Rushdie, The Moor's Last Sigh) Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.
-- Anonymous Education The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow
extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.
-- Robert Hutchins, Great Books, 1954 Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
-- Josh Billings blah "You shall find out how salt is the taste of another man's bread, and how hard is the way up and down another man's stairs." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Education
