I have been attacked by Rush Limbaugh on the air, an experience somewhat akin to being
gummed by a newt. It doesn't actually hurt, but it leaves you with slimy stuff on your ankle.
-- Molly Ivins Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.
-- P. J. O'Rourke I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
-- Euripides Work expands to fill the time available.
-- PARKINSON'S LAW Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Health What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
-- Albert Einstein Not to anticipate is already to moan.
-- Leonardo da Vinci Health
This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but hurled with great force.
-- Dorothy Parker Never practice two vices at once.
-- Tallulah Bankhead What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
-- Richard Rosen "It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime, but at night it is another thing." (Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises) Health Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain What a difference there is between what we say and what we think.
-- Racine The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same
time, and still retain the ability to function.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Health
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Food, one assumes, provides nourishment; but Americans eat it fully aware that small amounts of
poison have been added to improve its appearance and delay its putrefaction.
-- John Cage Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
-- Euripides A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts,
in living color, you're about to see another first -- an attempted suicide.
-- Chris Hubbock, who sh Health "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) In endowing us with memory, nature has revealed to us a truth utterly unimaginable to the
unreflective creation, the truth of immortality....The most ideal human passion is love, which is
also the m How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create
it herself.
- Anais Nin Health
What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic
wastes to Third Wo If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
-- Calvin Trillin He who laughs last didn't get it.
-- Helen Giangregorio The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Health "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
-- Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous Health
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
-- Danny Kaye My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
-- Oliver Herford Health When one is trying to do something beyond his known powers it is useless to seek the approval
of friends. Friends are at their best in moments of defeat.
-- Henry Miller "We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police." (Jeff Marder) Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac Health
It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen "In times of change learners inherit the earth; while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." (Eric Hoffer) Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!
-- Rory Bremner They think they can make fuel from horse manure.... Now, I don't know if your car will be able to
get 30 miles to the gallon, but it's sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.
-- Billie Holliday No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Health Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.
-- Helen Rowland blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran Health
"To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted.
-- Albert Einstein I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.
-- Calvin Coolidge "The face is the soul of the body." (Ludwig Wittgenstein) Health "Any existence deprived of freedom is a kind of death." (General Michel Aoun) "It is neccessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live." (Alexander Dumas) Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone Health
"Transport of the mails, transport of the human voice, transport of flickering pictures--in this century as in others our highest accomplishments still have the single aim of bringing men together." Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve "It ends not with a bang, but a whimper." (Thomas Stearns Eliot, aka T. S. Eliot, The Hollow Man) In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
-- Lenny Bruce Men have become the tools of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau Health "There is no such thing as a person that nothing has happened to, and each person's story is as different as his fingertips." (Elsa Lanchester) My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a
philosopher.
- Socrates "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) Health
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
- Bertrand Russell Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately
becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in
those tiny toil Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence. Health America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to
degeneration without the usual intervention of civilization.
-- George Clemenceau Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely
been detected.
-- Oscar Wilde Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet
not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
-- François de La Rouch Health
No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them. Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
-- Charlie Brown, character in "Peanuts" comic strip, created by Charles Schultz Health It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
-- Mark Twain >From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some
day I intend reading it.
-- Groucho Marx Health
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C. "If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear." (George Orwell) My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce "One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Health "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Health
