Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.
-- Virginia Woolf I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher "Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing." (Oscar Wilde) It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje Guides and Directories You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.
-- Dolly Parton I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
-- Albert Einstein Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Guides and Directories
It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but how
many can get through to you.
-- Mortimer J. Adler In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but
all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
- Bill Hirst The love we give away is the only love we keep.
-- Elbert Hubbard Guides and Directories By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates There is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at
heart, you can't take part. And you've got to put your body upon the gears and upon the wheels,
upon the lev And since the stench of death will always attract flies and vermin, the arrival of Geraldo was
perhaps inevitable.
-- Garry Trudeau Guides and Directories
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely
pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
-- Milton Friedman Count your age with friends but not with years.
-- Anonymous Guides and Directories A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
-- Buke Ellington Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.
-- General Douglas MacArthur blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran Guides and Directories
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Twenty years fron now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones
you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in
your Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
-- Anonymous Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O Guides and Directories His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I "Nothing touches a work of art so little as words of criticism: they always result in more or less fortunate misunderstandings." (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet) Guides and Directories
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds the most discoveries, is not
"Eureka!", but "That's funny..."
-- Isaac Asimov "Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.
-- Voltaire Guides and Directories In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported
in a contemporary "American Scholar" No one finds life worth living; he must make it worth living.
-- Anon. Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch Guides and Directories
Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
-- Anonymous To decide, to be at the level of choice, is to take responsibility for your life and to be in control of
your life.
-- Abbie M. Dale You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Guides and Directories We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from
ourselves.
-- Tom Robbins The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh Guides and Directories
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
- Steven Wright The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is
not read.
-- Oscar Wilde Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Hell is paved with good samaritans.
-- William M. Holden Guides and Directories Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Dear Mrs, Mr, Miss, or Mr and Mrs Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action. -- C He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose
-- Jim Elliott Guides and Directories
A true gentleman is one who is never unintentionally rude.
-- Oscar Wilde We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
- Seymour Cray (1925-1996), father of supercomputing Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Guides and Directories I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
- Elbert Hubbard Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
- Karl Wallenda Guides and Directories
Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Most people are more comfortable with old problems than with new solutions.
-- Anonymous Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words.
-- Fr. Jerome Cummings "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as
children.
-- Libby Gelman-Waxner Guides and Directories One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife....
-- Robert Boynton "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
-- Gloria Leonard Guides and Directories
"A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery." (James Joyce) I am not young enough to know everything.
-- Oscar Wilde I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was
doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an i blah "Some of the worlds greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. unattributed" (Anonymous) The advice your son rejected is now being given by him to your grandson. Guides and Directories I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen "I think all great innovations are built on rejections." (Louis-Ferdinand Céline) "I think it's about time we voted for senators with breasts. After all, we've been voting for boobs
long enough."
-- Arizona senatorial candidate Claire Sargent, on women candidates Guides and Directories
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker Where there is love there is life.
-- Gandhi Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of
existence.
-- Sydney Smith "Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself." (Sybil Marshall) No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.
-- Channing Pollack Guides and Directories A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Goethe I sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
-- Oscar Wilde I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard Guides and Directories
