I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) "I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'" (William Butler Yeats) News and Media The only thing you will ever be able to say in the so-called 'social' sciences is: "some do, some
don't."
-- Ernest Rutherford English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
- Oscar Wilde News and Media
"That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves." (Thomas Jefferson) "The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car." (Kenneth Tynan) "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) Oregon Democratic Senate candidate Tom Bruggere, in describing his support for
comprehensive health care during a candidates' forum, said he supported "erection-to-
resurrection" coverage. He later a News and Media The wit of a graduate student is like champagne. Canadian champagne.
-- Robertson Davies Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Mark Twain "Some people wear their heart up on their sleeve. I wear mine underneath my right pant leg, strapped to my boot." (Ani Difranco) News and Media
"No man is clever enough to know all the evil he does." (François VI Duke (duc) de La Rochefoucauld, 1616-80) I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
-- Mark Twain News and Media I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
-- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
-- George bernard Shaw I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer News and Media
He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec "All grown-ups were once children, though few of them remember it." (Antoine de Saint Exupéry) "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." (Oscar Wilde) "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) I don't know as much as God, but I know more than He did at my age.
-- Henry Kissinger News and Media If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance.
-- Al Bernstein "I'll endorse with my name any of the following; clothing AC-DC, cigarettes, small tapes, sound equipment, ROCK N' ROLL RECORDS, anything, film, and film equipment, Food, Helium, Whips, MONEY!!" (And Dignity does not consist in possessing honors, but in deserving them.
-- Aristotle News and Media
"Love is always a stranger in the house of avarice." (Andreas Capellanus) "Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise." (Alice Walker) Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.
-- Napoleon Bonaparte News and Media Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and
cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.
-- Tom Robbins May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich!
-- Chuck Jones-directed cartoon News and Media
"The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never advisable. -- Oscar Wilde Morality consists in suspecting other people of not being legally married.
-- George Bernard Shaw Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham News and Media "All women love the men they fear. All women kiss the hand that rules them." (Lionel Atwill) If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
-- Abraham Lincoln A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff News and Media
"People drag their progeny around with them like a ball and chain, like some terrible deadweight that hinders their every move - and that, as often as not, effectively winds up killing them." (Michel "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
- Honore de Balzac Football incorporates the two worst elements of American society: violence punctuated by
committee meetings.
-- George F. Will, journalist, political commentator, 1994 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner News and Media Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
-- David Starr Jordan No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in
love with him first.
-- Cesare Pavese "The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." (George Bernar News and Media
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a world of nuclear giants and
ethical infants.
-- General Omar Bradley Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good
marriage
-- Martin Luther News and Media Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
-- Aldous Huxley I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
- e e cummings Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde News and Media
Better watch out that you won't become a television set in your next life.
--Loesje "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries." (A. A. Milne) Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.
-- Chinese Proverb "Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) "To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend." (Jacques Derrida, French 'deconstructionist') News and Media When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too
conservative.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in
bed with her.
-- Lenny Bruce Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe? News and Media
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can
decide that nothing can be done.
-- Fred Allen What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Assassins!
-- Arturo Toscanini, to his orchestra Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley News and Media Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
- Benjamin Franklin "Every now and then say, 'What the fu(c)k.' 'What the fu(c)k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." (Curtis Armstrong, Risky Business, 1983) Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce News and Media
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
-- William Hazlitt My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. During the first period of a man's life the greatest danger is not to take the risk.
-- Soren Kierkegaard News and Media I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel I'd wipe the machines off the face of the earth again, and end the industrial epoch absolutely, like
a black mistake.
-- D. H. Lawrence News and Media
