The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you
underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell We have been friends together in sunshine and in shade.
-- Caroline Norton Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham History What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
-- Josephus Daniels History
In times of profound change, the learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves
beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.
-- Al Rogers, Global SchoolHouse Netw We can do no great things; only small things with great love.
-- Mother Teresa We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him.
-- Shelley Winters He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
-- J. Heller True thinkers are characterised by a blending of clearness and mystery.
-- Victor Hugo History Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the
wrong remedies.
-- Groucho Marx "I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mou History
"I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens If you want a place in the sun, you've got to put up with a few blisters.
-- Abigail Van Buren "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) History "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.
-- Tom Robbins The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when
we created them.
- Albert Einstein History
Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
-- Benjamin Franklin A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.
-- James Lowell "I was born lost and take no pleasure in being found..." (John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley) Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
- James Stephens History "If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." (Frank Zappa) "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) "I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) History
"College professors are the people who can't hack it in the real world." (William Thomas) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Happiness is nothing more than health and a poor memory.
-- Albert Schweitzer I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Mark Twain Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than
the wisest man can answer.
-- Charles Caleb Colton History A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
-- Kin Hubbard If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton "God is dead: but considering the state Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, The Joyful Wisdom) History
Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not
mean his maker, but himself.
-- Dean Inge Courage is the price that Love exacts for granting peace.
-- Amelia Earhart What luck for the rulers that men do not think.
-- Adolf Hitler People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
-- Dave Barry History "The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it." (Abbie Hoffman) Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not
there, I go to work.
- Robert Orben History
Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President Many a man that could rule a hundherd millyon sthrangers with an ir'n hand is careful to take off
his shoes in the front hallway whin he comes home late at night.
-- Finley Peter Dunne, Mr. Dooley O I have read your book and much like it.
-- Moses Hadas, book reviewer Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw History For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-- Virginia Woolf It is not because it is difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are
difficult.
-- Lucius Anneaus Seneca Give me a museum and I'll fill it.
-- Pablo Picasso History
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
-- Blaise Pascal, Pensées, trans. A.J. Krailsheimer Youth is wasted on the young.
-- George Bernard Shaw What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or
can die.
-- Thomas Carlyle History I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat
people.
-- Ed Bluestone The sun never sets on the British empire because Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the
west.
-- Unknown history student Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde History
"Men are wise in proportion, not to their experience, but to their capacity for experience." (George Bernard Shaw) I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people
themselves.
-- August Strindberg Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it. Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.
- the Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn History Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just
flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it
does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it
ha After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
-- Aldous Huxley History
Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.
-- Andy Warhol "Not only is there no guarantee of the temporal immortality of the human soul, that is to say of its eternal survival after death; but, in any case, this assumption completely fails to accomplish the I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
-- Jean Cocteau History A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
- John D. Rockefeller You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.
-- John Ciardi "Vegiburgers are wrong." (Mike Kaup) History
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
-- Pope John Paul I Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine.
Sir Arthur Eddington (1882 - 1944) A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
-- Walter Winchell "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.
-- Marcus Aurelius History Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.
-- Confucius Only positive consequences encourage good future performances.
-- Kenneth H. Blanchard "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o History
