If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
-- Kingsley Amis Our marriage would have worked if we hadn't lived together.
-- Joan Thompson My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
- Niels Bohr Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind.
-- Plutarch O "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
-- George Bernard Shaw "I was born and raised with crocodiles; they are a piece of cake. But kids are so ... unpredictable." (Steve Irwin, "Crocodile Hunter") O
What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good
questions.
-- Woody Allen In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-- Albert Einstein If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
-- Maya Angelou Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of
genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart O The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. O
"Boredom is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it." (Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 1872-1970) If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
-- Mother Teresa The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent
ages as much as 20 years.
-- Anonymous The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.
-- Elting E. Morison O Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau O
Don't look back -- something might be gaining on you.
-- Satchel Paige That government is best which governs least.
-- Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience, 1849 "I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats." (Woody Allen, in regard to the KKK) Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot O I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor
one.
-- Dr. W.C. Heuper of the National Cancer Institute, as quoted in the New York Times on Apri All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it
is accepted as being self-evident.
- Arthur Schopenhauer O
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
- Emile Zola "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Roald Dahl) You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By
giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you
will Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
-- William Congreve O If other people are going to talk, conversation becomes impossible.
-- James McNeill Whistler Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.
-- Max Frisch I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me
is another matter.
- Sir Winston Churchill O
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a
natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then marry him.
-- Cher "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) O Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.
-- Tom Lehrer Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are
capable of being.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe O
Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Powell Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.
-- Typewriting exercise The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) O A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the
physician O
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband. It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they
are not here to worship what is known, but to question it.
-- J. Bronowski, The Ascent of Man Epperson's law:
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person
must be fired.
-- Conway's Law "The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right." (Mark Twain) O Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the
face of this earth.
-- Albert Einstein Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue.
-- Hermione Gingold The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde O
Skepticism is the chastity of the intellect, and it is shameful to surrender it too soon or to the first
comer: there is nobility in preserving it coolly and proudly through long youth, until at last "When you have nothing to say, say nothing." (Charles Caleb Colton) Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
-- Oscar Wilde O I want to die in my sleep like my friend.... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his
car.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker It takes two to speak truth --One to speak, and another to hear.
-- Henry David Thoreau May the road rise to meet you. May the wind always be at your back. May the sun shine warm
upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields and, until we meet again, may God hold you in
the palm O
"I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any If your professor wrote it, it's as near to the truth as you ever need to get.
-- John Watson, University of Canterbury By the time (the Leaning Tower of Pisa) was 10% built, everyone knew it would be a total
disaster. But the investment was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it cost
a fortune You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.
-- Benjamin Disraeli O I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about "short" and
"cheap"?
-- Phyllis Diller Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.
-- D.H. Lawrence Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous O
My Alma mater was books, a good library . . . . I could spend the rest of my life reading, just
satisfying my curiosity.
--Malcolm X You can't build a reputation on what you are going to do.
-- Henry Ford Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the
unpalatable.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature
machine gun.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age.
-- Meat Loaf, from the song "Wasted Youth" on the album Bat Out of Hell II O "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize." (Robert Hughes) O
