I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about 'short' and 'cheap'? -- Phyllis Diller I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. we are for the most part
more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers.
-- Thoreau "True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." (Charles Caleb Colton) Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
-- Woody Allen Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman S "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." (Thomas Paine) A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton S
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.
- Francois-Auguste Rodin (1840-1917), when asked how he managed to make his remarkable
statues Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn't agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don't love me nearly as much as she does. Draw your own conclusions. By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you
will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx S I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.
-- Barbara Bush, first lady, 1989 Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does
come, we no longer exist.
-- Epicurus I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.
-- Groucho Marx S
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
-- F. M. Knowles Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and around the hands and feet of the man. "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
-- Josh Billings Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
- Rudyard Kipling S "We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled but as candles to be lit." (Robert Shaffer) Harpo, she's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-- Oscar Levant, to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) S
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking
campaign Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.
-- Thomas Szasz Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
-- King Vidor, in the 1928 film, The Crawl "I don't believe people die. They just go uptown. To Bloomingdales. They just take longer to get back." (Andy Warhol) I don't know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn't.
-- Jules Renard S You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
-- Indira Gandhi Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a
brand new ending.
-- Anonymous The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
-- Robert M. Pirsig S
"Man was born free and everywhere he is in chains." (Jean-Jacques Rousseau, French philosopher, The Social Contract) This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell.
-- Anonymous I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!
-- Will Rogers I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
-- Walt Disney S We cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.
-- Mme de Staël It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by
the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
-- Douglas Jerold, 1858 Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
-- Oscar Wilde S
It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the
gentleman.
-- Herbert Spencer All television is children's television.
-- Richard P. Adler That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been
all along.
-- Madeleine L'Engle Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
-- Boies Penrose, 1931 S This search for what you want is like tracking something that doesn't want to be tracked. It takes
time to get a dance right, to create something memorable.
-- Fred Astaire Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteeen.
-- Albert Einstein When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you
don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New Engla S
I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me. -- Dick Martin It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
- Samuel Palmer Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together....
-- Carl Zwanzig "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and S Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 Whatever women do they must do it twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this
is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton "Courage is found in unlikely places." (John Ronald Reuel Tolkien) S
blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three categories-- those that don't work, those
that break down, and those that get lost.
-- Russell Baker Better to die ten thousand deaths than wound my honor.
-- Joseph Addison After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
-- H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare S Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
-- H. L. Mencken Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton S
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.
-- Clarence Darrow "Everywhere one seeks to produce meaning, to make the world signify, to render it visible. We are not, however, in danger of lacking meaning; quite the contrary, we are gorged with meaning and it is k Children should be like waffles--you should be able to throw the first one away.
-- Mary Alice Messenger If all men were brothers, would you let one marry your sister? In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott S Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.
-- Pierre Augustin de Beaumarchais I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree.
Indeed, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
-- Ogden Nash, Song of the Open Road, 1945 S
All marriages are happy--it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems. "Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him." (Aldous Huxley) Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.
-- John Tudor As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 The last good thing written in C++ was the Pachelbel Canon.
-- Jerry Olson S What is politics, after all, but the compulsion to preside over property and make other peoples'
decisions for them?
-- Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn; my God, do you learn!" (Clive Staples Lewis) To teach is to learn twice.
-- Joseph Joubert S
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of
the world.
- George Washington Carver A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
Robert Frost (1874-1963) I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright "Every act of creation is first an act of destruction." (Pablo Picasso) "When even one American--who has done nothing wrong--is forced by fear to shut his mind and close his mouth--then all Americans are in peril." (Harry S. Truman) S "The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason." (John Cage) Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork
picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
-- Tom Stoppard Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau ( S
