Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford He who laughs, lasts.
-- Mary Pettibone Poole "...when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes) My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with
it.
-- Colin Powell T One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is
terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous The wise see knowledge and action as one; they see truly.
-- Bhagava Gita T
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in
a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestone blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) We do not remember days; we remember moments.
-- Anonymous A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-- Michel de Montaigne "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) T Having once decided to achieve a certain task, achieve it at all costs of tedium and distaste. The
gain in self-confidence of having accomplished a tiresome labor is immense.
-- Thomas Arnold Bennet Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.
-- Thomas Dekker T
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the unlimitable superior who reveals Himself in the
slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble minds. That deeply emotional
convi "If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) "I don't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones." (John Cage) The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy "If you assume that there's no hope, you guarantee that there will be no hope. If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, there are opportunities to change things, there's a chance for you t T Marry not a tennis player. For love means nothing to them. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason If you can't convince them, confuse them.
-- Harry S. Truman T
A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
-- Billy Sunday "He who speaks of what he knows not only works hard to portray his ignorance." (Joseph Muchemi) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson T Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell "Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul." (The Prophet Mohammad) "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." (Douglas Adams) T
My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no
character.
-- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of fig It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-- Oscar Wilde "Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect every one who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are ine "Pay no attention to what the critics say; there has never been set up a statue in honor of a critic." (Jean Sibelius) Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. T What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
-- Robert Schuller Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them
tender.
-- Mary Buckley blah "A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) T
Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back.
- Paul Erdos "Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments." (Anonymous) If you cannot be the master of your language, you must be its slave. If you cannot examine your
thoughts, you have no choice but to think them, however silly they may be.
-- Richard Mitchell, from What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac T Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism in that by giving us the
opinion of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community.
-- Oscar W It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are
difficult.
-- Seneca Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer T
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." (George Orwell) These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 "Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer." (Jack Handey) I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
-- Albert Einstein T Every flower must grow through dirt.
-- Anonymous "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." (Edger Allen Poe) You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it.
-- W.S. Gilbert T
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) "A friendship that exacts oneness of opinion and conduct is not worth much." (Mohandas Gandhi, In Search of the Supreme) Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty -- a beauty cold and
austere, like that of sculpture.
-- Bertrand Russell "I owe much to my friends; but, all things considered, it strikes me that I owe even more to my enemies. The real person springs life under a sting even better than under a caress." (André Gide) Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle T Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept
me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn't
everythin "I believe there are more instances of the abridgement of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." (James Madison) T
"A man is only as faithful as his opportunity." (Chris Rock) "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock 'n roll." (Shigeru Miyamoto, game designer for Nintendo) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
-- Douglas Adams "Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible." (Andy Warhol, Andy Warhol's Exposures, 1980) Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
--Anon. T The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- Henry Louis Mencken Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
-- Niels Bohr I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf T
"The market is not an invention of capitalism. It has existed for centuries. It is an invention of civilization." (Mikhail Gorbachev, June 8, 1990) Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
-- Samuel Johnson And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln "Who is more foolish? The fool or the fool that follows it?" (Alec Guinness) Drink to me.
-- Pablo Picasso, dying words T "This is slavery, not to speak one's thought." (Euripides) We have to keep trying things we're not sure we can pull off. If we just do the things we know we
can do... you don't grow as much. You gotta take those chances on making those big mistakes.
-- Cybi Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the
moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future
generations T
"Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom." (Raymonde Uy) Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and
retaliation. the foundation of such a method is love.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
-- Buck Henry The best time to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
-- Josh Billings T Education is the state-controlled manufacture of echoes.
-- Norman Douglas The society of women is the element of good manners.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar T
