Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses.
-- Anon. I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.
-- Michael McShane Saying that Windows95 is equal to Macintosh is like finding a potato that looks like Jesus and
believing you've witnessed the second coming.
-- Guy Kawasaki Better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
-- David Chambless Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
- Napoleon Bonaparte Recreation and Sports "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change." (John A. Simone Sr.) Weaseling out of things is good. It's what separates us from the other animals....except weasels.
-- Homer Simpson, character from The Simpsons, U.S. animated television show If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
-- George Gobel Recreation and Sports
Do or do not. There is no try.
-- Yoda, character in the movie The Empire Strikes Back "Failure is not an option!" (Ed Harris, as Gene Kranz, Apollo 13) A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having
passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Anonymous He who limps is still walking.
-- Stanislaw J. Lec Recreation and Sports "I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead." (Oscar Wilde) "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that
M&Ms really do melt in your hand...
-- Peter Oakley Recreation and Sports
"No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero "Drugs have done a lot of good. A lot of good songs have been written. 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. 'Dark Side of the Moon?' 100 dead kids. At least that many were conceived by people listening With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly good I thee endow.
-- Wedding Vow, Book of Common Prayer Recreation and Sports A sweetheart is a bottle of wine, a wife is a wine bottle.
-- Baudelaire Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her
have her own way.
-- Anonymous The best teacher is the one who suggests rather than dogmatizes, and inspires his listener with
the wish to teach himself.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Recreation and Sports
Give the people not hell, but hope and courage.
-- John Murray You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they
do.
-- Olin Miller A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because
we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, "No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous." (Henry B. Adams) Recreation and Sports The lover knows much more about absolute good and universal beauty than any logician or
theologian, unless the latter, too, be lovers in disguise.
-- George Santayana "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder Recreation and Sports
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them
good.
-- H.L. Mencken "Listen, or your tongue will make you deaf." (Native American Proverb) "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." (Mark Twain) I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer blah "To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift." (Steve Roland Prefontaine) Recreation and Sports In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
-- Paul Eldridge The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by
trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by l It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed.
They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth Recreation and Sports
The real test of friendship is: Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy
together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people looks back
on at Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
-- Steven Wright Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain
as marijuana...The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
-- Woody Allen Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schultz Recreation and Sports The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
-- Winston Churchill I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.
-- Rose Kennedy, (1890-1995) family matriarch, on her 100th birthday, 1991 "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian." (Dennis Wholey) Recreation and Sports
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H "People expect a certain reaction from a business, and when you pleasantly exceed those expectations, you've somehow passed an important psychological threshold." (Richard Thalheimer, president, The "When a hundred men stand together, each of them loses his mind and gets another one." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits." (Woodrow Wilson, 28th US president, 1856-1924) Recreation and Sports Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have
had any experience with them.
-- H. L. Mencken Nothing is beneath you if it is in the direction of your life.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Remember your dreams.
-- Maryanne Radmacher-Herhey Recreation and Sports
In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
-- English Proverb Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an altruistic motive.
-- Ayn Rand "Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." (John Benfield) "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses The first duty of love is to listen.
-- Paul Tillich Recreation and Sports "The concerned investment banker is the one who blows the horn on his Mercedes as he drives through a red light." (Anonymous) A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
-- Lana Turner Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Recreation and Sports
Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to
criticize others.
-- H. Jackson Brown "I met someone on the street who said wasn't it great that we're going to have a movie star for president, that it was so Pop, and (laughs) when you think about it like that, it is great, it's so Amer "This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one." (Arthur C. Clarke) "Wise men learn more from fools, than fools from the wise." (Anonymous) I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show Recreation and Sports Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes
unpunished.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "I like boring things." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it. Recreation and Sports
If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
-- Bill Hoest "See - one side of my face is gentle and kind, incapable of anything but love of my fellow man. The other side, the other profile, is cruel and predatory and evil, incapable of anything but lusts and Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman Art and science have their meeting point in method.
-- Edward Bulwer-Lytton Recreation and Sports Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards.
-- Benjamin Franklin When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up
something appropriate and do it.
-- E. W. Howe Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to
take away.
- Antoine de Saint Exupery Recreation and Sports
No, that is the great fallacy; the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful." (Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms) "Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Courage: doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
-- Eddie Rickenbacker Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage.
-- Jean Anouilh If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein Recreation and Sports "Ah! Don't say you agree with me. When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." (Oscar Wilde) "Freedom of press is limited to those who own one." (Henry Louis Mencken) Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
-- Soren Kierkegaard Recreation and Sports
