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"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." (Groucho Marx) What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute
for life.
-- Andrew Brown Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
- H. G. Wells Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Television A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos "Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil) "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) Television
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
-- Clifton Fadiman "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak
toys?
-- Douglas Coupland Television No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
- William Jennings Bryan My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln "The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none." (Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881) Television
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The great tragedy of science, the slaying of a beautiful theory by an ugly fact.
-- Thomas Henry Huxley A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.
-- Martin H. Fischer I shall return.
-- General Douglas MacArthur Television "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking." (H. Jackson Brown (Jr.) Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing any one who comes between them.
-- Sydney Smith "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Television
Propel, propel, propel your craft softly down liquid solution. Ecstatically, ecstatically, ecstatically,
ecstatically, Existence is simply illusion.
-- Fred Rogers, parody of "Row, row, row your boa Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same
direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
-- ee cummings "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward." (Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1882 - 1945, 32nd U.S. President) "He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches." (George Bernard Shaw) Television "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado "Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Television
"One pretty good definition of college is that it's a place where people are made to read difficult books." (Jonathan Franzen) "Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well, too." (David Malcolm Storey) Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed.
-- Hoshang N. Akhtar Men. You can't live with them. You don't have to.
-- Seen on a t-shirt "Beauty awakens the soul to act." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) Television I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.
- John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song When one find's oneself in a hole of one's own making, it is a good time to examine the quality of
the workmanship.
-- John Renmerde Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-- Carl Gustav Jung Television
The Church is an organism that grows best in an alien society.
-- C. Stacey Woods "Fear is a darkroom where negatives develop." (Usman Asif) "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) In a novel, the hero can lay ten girls and marry a virgin for the finish. In a movie, that is not
allowed. The villain can lay anybody he wants, have as much fun and as he wants cheating,
stealing, In great matters men show themselves as they wish to be seen; in small matters, as they are.
-- Gamaliel Bradford Television A narcissist is someone better-looking than you are.
-- Gore Vidal Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.
-- George Santayana Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the
writing will be just as it should be.
-- Mark Twain Television
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
-- Dave Barry Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.
-- Anonymous Paradoxically though it may seem, it is none the less true that life imitates art far more than art
imitates life.
-- Oscar Wilde "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Television Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President Television
Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
-- Mary Roberts Rhinehart No matter who you vote for, the Government always gets in.
-- Anon. Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
- Ambrose Bierce Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
-- Albert Einstein Television "To live is to dream and to die is to awaken." (Anonymous) "It seems to me that there are two kinds of trickery: the 'fronts' people assume before one another's eyes, and the 'front' a writer puts on the face of reality." (Francois Sagan) Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins Television
I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.
-- Louis Nel, Deputy Minister of Information, South Africa Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
-- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Cat's Cradle A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Every day sends to their
graves obscure men whom timidity prevented from making a first effort.
-- Sydney Smith Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker Television "Excellence is in the details. Give attention to the details and excellence will come." (Perry Paxton) Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.
-- Brian Pickrell Television
"Murderers have been known to find that young girls give them more trouble than anybody else." (Jean Cocteau, Les Enfants Terribles) blah "It is a grand mistake to think of being great without goodness and I pronounce it as certain that there was never a truly great man that was not at the same time truly virtuous." (Benjamin Fran If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than
cocaine.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's
family does too.
-- Anonymous In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
- W.B. Prescott Television I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and
intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
- Galileo Galilei The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
- Samuel Johnson English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. Television
"It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong." (Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire, 1694-1778) "People demand freedom only when they have no power." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.
-- Alexandre Dumas fils Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Television Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can
only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines
staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you
ask th If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.
-- Francis Bacon Television
