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The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.
-- Mark Twain Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
- H. G. Wells I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) There are some things which cannot be learned quickly, and time, which is all we have, must be
paid heavily for their acquiring. They are the very simplest things and, because it takes a man's
life Associations The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Logic is in the eye of the logician.
- Gloria Steinem "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) Associations
Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwile careers in the
street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack
of u Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.
-- Madame de Rieux "Nothing is permanent but change." (Heraclitus) Love makes the time pass. Time makes love pass.
-- French Proverb I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they
study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-- Gerald Early, writer, baseball do Associations We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.
-- Will Rogers His ignorance is encyclopedic
- Abba Eban Associations
Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
-- Bertolt Brecht "How wondrous familiar is a fool!" (Herman Melville, Moby Dick) He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
- H. H. Munro (Saki) Associations "How can we know the dancer from the dance?" (William Butler Yeats) To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.
-- Latin Proverb "Death is only a launching into the region of the strange Untried; it is but the first salutation to the possibilities of the immense Remote, the Wild, the Watery, the Unshored..." (Herman Melville, Associations
The time is always right to do what is right.
-- Martin Luther King, Jr. Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.
-- Alphonse Allais It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should
live honourably.
-- Kant, Immanuel The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
-- G. K. Chesterton "Gifts must affect the receiver to the point of shock." (Walter Benjamin) Associations Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when
people laugh.
-- George Bernard Shaw Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts.
-- William Shakespeare, King Henry the Sixth Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
- Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Associations
"Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
- Mark Twain I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-ages couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. -- Tynan If God had meant us to vote, He would have given us candidates.
-- Seen on a bumper sticker Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of.
-- Peter Ustinov Associations Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. "The man who never made a mistake never made anything." (Derek Longdon, Tongariro Power Development, Turangi, New Zealand) These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995 Associations
"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, g Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins.
-- Heywood Brown The best theology would need no advocates; it would prove itself.
-- Karl Barth Associations A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-- Paul Valery blah "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." (Milton Berle) I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Associations
"The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." (William Shakespeare, Julius Cæsar. Act iii. Sc. 2.) "Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes." (Oscar Wilde) One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passersby
see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way.
-- Vincent Van Gogh We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your
way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition -- plowing straight ahead, come what
may I hate women because they always know where things are.
-- James Thurber Associations We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind
her stands his wife.
-- Groucho Marx Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
--Don Galer Associations
There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time, fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics a Love is what happens to men and women who don't know each other.
-- W. Somerset Maugham You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be
sacrificed to expediency.
-- W. Somerset Maugham Creativity is allowing oneself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
-- Oliver Herford Associations No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
-- Honore de Balzac Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
- Lewis Perelman A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
-- Robert Frost Associations
A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
-- Moliere Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
-- Alphonse Allais What do you take me for, an idiot?
- General Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970), when a journalist asked him if he was happy "I offer images; I conjure memories of freedom that can still be reached ... But, we can only open the doors. We can't drag people through. I can't free them unless they want to be free--more than any Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-- Oscar Wilde Associations "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out. Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
-- Mark Twain Associations
A man must marry only a very pretty woman in case he should ever want some other man to take her off his hands. -- Guitry I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and
members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President "Against stupidity the very gods themselves contend in vain." (Johann Christian Friedrich von Schiller, 1759-1805, The Maid of Orleans. Act iii. Sc. 6.) Laywers, I suppose, were children once.
-- Charles Lamb Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
-- Mark Twain Associations "The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." (Don Herold) If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner We think caged birds sing, when indeed they cry.
-- John Webster Associations
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
- Thomas Jefferson blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live.
-- Joan Borysenko Someday is not a day of the week.
-- Anon. Each religion, by the help of more or less myth which it takes more or less seriously, proposes
some method of fortifying the human soul and enabline it to make its peace with its destiny.
-- George Associations The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free. Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside
desperate to get out.
-- Michel de Montaigne This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises,
promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
-- Anonymous Associations
