I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes rest.
-- Alexandre Dumas pere Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is
merely a good excuse not to play football.
-- Fran Lebowitz Jimmy Carter as President is like Truman Capote marrying Dolly Parton. The job is just too big for him. -- Rich Little Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline
luggage.
-- Mark Russell Arts and Entertainment "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching." (Satchel Paige) Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-- Anonymous Arts and Entertainment
Natural ability without education has more often attained to glory and virtue than education
without natural ability.
Cicero (106 BC - 43 BC) I tried a mail order bride, once, but she was damaged in the mail, and I had to return the unused part for my full refund. Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. There are only two things a child will share willingly communicable diseases and his mother's
age.
-- Modern Maturity When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.
- Friedrich Nietzsche Arts and Entertainment Never moon a werewolf.
-- Mike Binder UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can
never tell.
-- Joan Crawford Arts and Entertainment
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs. A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.
Harry S. Truman "Common sense and education are highly compatible; in fact, neither is worth much without the other." (Donald G. Smith) Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
-- Samuel Butler Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.
-- Vince Lombardi Arts and Entertainment Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the
next meal would come from.
-- Peter F. Drucker Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.
Rabbi Julius Gordon Arts and Entertainment
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives. Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you
have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.
-- Aldous Huxley The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is
that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
-- Anonymous "And on the seventh day, God stepped back and said 'There is my creation, perfect in every way ... oh, damn it, I left pot all over the place. Now they'll think I want them to smoke it. Now I have to "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." (Groucho Marx) Arts and Entertainment Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and
superior impartiality.
-- Arnold Bennett Arts and Entertainment
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What
do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came
back with ano I read the book of Job last night - I don't think God comes out well in it.
-- Virginia Woolf A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your
girdle when your hips stick.
-- Ogden Nash They will say you are on the wrong road, if it is your own.
-- Antonio Porchi "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you." (Francois Sagan) Arts and Entertainment The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-- Will Rogers Love is friendship set on fire.
- Jeremy Taylor Arts and Entertainment
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been
widely regarded as a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large
organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
-- Dave Barry "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do." (Anonymous) Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
-- Thomas Dewar The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
-- George Bernard Shaw Arts and Entertainment Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire.
-- William Yeats "As a child, I thought I hated everybody, but when I grew up I realized it was just children I didn't like." (Philip Larkin) Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
-- James Matthew Barrie Arts and Entertainment
"Sometimes I think it's another sign of the sad necessity of our crowded, lonely lives, an urgent hopeless reaching out to touch something real, a deep hunger for something authentic when everything s Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.
-- Al Capp "Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die tomorrow." (James Dean) "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes Arts and Entertainment Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree
to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. you only need a heart full
of grac I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
-- Mae West "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) Arts and Entertainment
In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Therefore:
? In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its
duties.
? Work Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
- Voltaire (1694-1778) on his deathbed in response to a priest asking that he renounce Satan. The health of the people is really the foundation upon which all their happiness and all their
powers as a State depend.
-- Benjamin Disraeli The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want to learn.
-- Cicero Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
-- Jackie Mason Arts and Entertainment The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain
terrible.
-- Jean Kerr I am about to--or I am going to--die; either expression is used.
-- Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're
entitled to a little fun first.
-- Anonymous Arts and Entertainment
What I have to say is far more important than how long my eyelashes are.
-- Alanis Morissette, singer, 1995 "Someday there will be girls and women whose name will no longer mean the mere opposite of the male, but something in itself, something that makes one think not of any compliment and limit, but only o Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
-- Gail Godwin A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
-- G. K. Chesterton A woman's always younger than a man of equal years.
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Aurora Leigh Arts and Entertainment I believe God is managing affairs and that He doesn't need any advice from me. With God in
charge, I believe everything will work out for the best in the end. So what is there to worry about.
-- Hen I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Realism is a corruption of reality.
-- Wallace Stevens Arts and Entertainment
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
- definition of happiness by John F. Kennedy Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
-- Karl Wallenda There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
- Frank Zappa I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
-- Flannery O'Connor Arts and Entertainment "I was a total loner, not by self-design. I just didn't know what the hell to say to people. I was so shy. I used to stammer and lisp and dribble at the mouth." (Sir Anthony Hopkins, on his youth) Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as
saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-- Deborah Tan The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein Arts and Entertainment
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
-- Albert Einstein The grand aim of all science is to cover the greatest number of empirical facts by logical
deduction from the smallest number of hypotheses or axioms.
-- Albert Einstein War is a profession by which a man cannot live honorably; an employment by which the soldier, if
he would reap any profit, is obliged to be false, rapacious, and cruel.
-- Niccolo Machiavelli You can not apply mathematics as long as words still becloud reality.
-- Hermann Weyl "Politics is my hobby. Smut is my vocation." (Larry Flynt) Arts and Entertainment "An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics." (Plutarch) I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN "No one wants a good education. Everyone wants a good degree." (Lee Rudolph) Arts and Entertainment
