"Club Secretary: I say, Lawrence. You are a clown!
Lawrence: We can't all be lion tamers." (Thomas Edward Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) Children are a poor man's riches.
-- English proverb In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.
-- Robert Frost A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
-- Helen Rowland If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry
that gets you, not the loss of sleep.
-- Dale Carnegie Tonypandy My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady
in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
-- Dick Martin My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.
-- Buddy Hackett Tonypandy
It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot Even a band of angels can turn ugly and start looting if enough angels are unemployed and
hanging around the Pearly Gates convinced that all the succubi own all the liquor stores in
Heaven.
-- P. J Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
-- Anonymous There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado Tonypandy Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The
premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool.
-- Kelvin Throop I I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
-- Frank J. Dobie, A Texan in England, 1945 Tonypandy
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- Henry Louis Mencken Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.
-- Edward H. Land An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
-- Sacha Guitry I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said,
"Would you like some fries with that?"
-- Jay Leno I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board Tonypandy A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
-- Sidney Goff Grove giveth and Gates taketh away.
- Bob Metcalfe (inventor of Ethernet) on the trend of hardware speedups not being able to keep
up with software demands Character is what you are in the dark.
-- Dwight L. Moody Tonypandy
"Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational." (Charles Schultz) Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.
-- Robert Frost "Life is measured by the rapidity of change, the succession of influences that modify the being." (George Eliot) "I love to doubt as well as know." (Dante Alighieri, 1265-1321) The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.
-- Thomas Jefferson Tonypandy Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
-- H. L. Mencken Education is an admirable thing, but nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
-- Oscar Wilde I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
-- Edward Chilton Tonypandy
"Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know." (Gilbert Keith Chesterton) I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
-- Carol Leifer Church is only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.
-- William Temple Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of
opportunity.
-- George Bernard Shaw "If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in government to the utmost." (Aristotle) Tonypandy I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
-- George Bus The nourishment is palatable.
-- Millard Fillmore, dying words "If I were still a critic, I would loathe knowing the person I was writing about. There's enough of an incestuous relationship between subject and writer." (Manny Farber, American film theorist) Tonypandy
"If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there." (Sterling Holloway, voice of Chesire Cat, Alice in Wonderland) Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll, (seen attributed to "R.S. Ingersoll" - a typo?) The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage. The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing that you will make one.
-- Ellen Hubbard Flowers are words which even a baby can understand.
-- Arthur C. Coxe Tonypandy "Murder is the very bed-rock of our social institutions." (Octave Mirbeau, The Torture Garden) Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
- Robert Frost Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to
happen to him.
-- John Barrymore - last words Tonypandy
"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known." (Blaise Pascal) ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911 "There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience." (Archibald McLeish) I know I'm not in government anymore. In fact I'm out of work.
-- Ronald Reagan, Former U.S. President, on a speaking tour of Japan, 1989 May your wife be a witch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. Tonypandy The gods too are fond of a joke.
-- Aristotle It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
-- Jane Austen "To be great is to be misunderstood." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Tonypandy
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
-- Mark Twain A straight line is the shortest in morals as in mathematics.
-- Maria Edgeworth If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.
-- Lynda Barry My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day. Lawyers are... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn Tonypandy "I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence." (Edger Allen Poe) If we let people see that kind of thing, there would never again be any war.
-- Pentagon official, on why US military censored graphic footage from the Gulf War "Everything in my life has been determined by mistakes." (Gene Wilder) Tonypandy
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked
me in the cellar.
-- Anonymous I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with
typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the
House Bank scandal "... adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991, quoted in his obituary, Time) "The feminists used to say that chivalry and ladyhood were ways of keeping women down and preventing them from standing toe to toe with the guys. Now you've got a lot of women saying that if a guy is Tonypandy I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than
knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
-- Albert Einstein Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement.
-- Cousin Woodman As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.
-- Proverbs 23:7 Tonypandy
Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
-- Lord Dewar "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President blah "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves." (Thomas Alva Edison) "The sickness of our times for me has been just this damn thing that everything has been getting smaller and smaller and less and less important, that the romantic spirit has dried up, that there is n Tonypandy "Every great institution is the lengthened shadow of a single man. His character determines the character of the organization." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) Truth often suffers more by the heat of its defenders than the arguments of its opposers.
-- William Penn People only see what they are prepared to see.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Tonypandy
Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
-- Benjamin Franklin "We already have the statistics for the future: the growth percentages of pollution, overpopulation, desertification. The future is already in place." (Günther Grass, Winner of the Nobel Prize for Li To take what there "is", and use it, without waiting forever in vain for the preconceived - to dig
deep into the actual and get something out of that - this doubtless is the right way to live.
-- H "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) Under capitalism man exploits man; under socialism the reverse is true.
-- Polish proverb Tonypandy University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
- Henry Kissinger Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet." (Andy Warhol) Tonypandy
