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"Think off-center." (George Carlin) I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way
around Chinatown.
-- Woody Allen The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
-- Honore de Balzac "Those that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." (Benjamin Franklin) "Humanity has won its battle. Liberty now has a country." (Marquis de Lafayette) Home and Garden There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another
to the world.
-- Antonio Machado The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
-- Thomas Jefferson Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung Home and Garden
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
-- Samuel Goldwyn, immigrant-turned-famous-movie-producer, when told his son was getting
married Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by
definition, is unassailable.
-- James Baldwin, Nobody Knows My Name, 1961 "Growth in wisdom can be measured precisely by decline in bile." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, Human, All Too Human) Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
-- T.S. Eliot Home and Garden Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of
the time.
-- E. B. White I think, therefore I'm single.
-- Female philosopher It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
-- Abraham Lincoln Home and Garden
"I learned more from the one restaurant that didn't work than from all the ones that were successes." (Wolfgang Puck, restauranteur) We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.
-- G. K. Chesterton In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others.
-- André Maurois Grow old with me! The best is yet to be!
-- Robert Browning "Man is a strange animal. He generally cannot read the handwriting on the wall until his back is up against it." (Adlai Stevenson) Home and Garden "Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one." (Vladimir Nabokov) "Do something for the joy of doing it and pray you won't be punished." (Sammy Cahn) Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
-- Jerry Garcia Home and Garden
blah "Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
- George Bernard Shaw The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.
-- P. J. O'Rourke Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Sir, I would rather be right than be President.
-- Henry Clay, Speech, 1850, referring to the Compromise Measure Home and Garden "Give me liberty or give me death." (Patrick Henry) Whoever is not a misanthrope at forty can never have loved mankind.
-- Sebastian Roch Nicolas Chamfort "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd." (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, 1547-1616) Home and Garden
"Every act of violence increases the recruitment of terrorists. Iraq has been turned into a base of terror." (Noam Chomsky, from The Toronto Star, March 23, 2004) Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate.
-- Mark B. Cohen Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-
inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least
expect i "You know that being an American is more than a matter of where your parents came from. It is a belief that all men are created free and equal and that everyone deserves an even break." (Harry S. Tru I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.
- Cicero Home and Garden Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
-- George Santayana There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.
-- Peter De Vries Seeing much, suffering much, and studying much, are the three pillars of learning.
-- Benjamin Disraeli Home and Garden
"A man who tells lies, like me, merely hides the truth. But a man who tells half-lies has forgotten where he put it." (Claude Rains, as Mr. Dryden, Lawrence of Arabia, 1962) "What is the difference between exploring and being lost?" (Dan Eldon, photojournalist) "Talent does what it can; genius does what it must." (Edward Robert Bulwer-Lytton) "Conforming is only acceptable when you conform with a nonconformist." (John A. Simone Jr.) For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely
unnatural condition.
-- Robert Briffault Home and Garden "We're an embarrasment to college graduates across America." (James Douglas Morrison, lead singer of The Doors) We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
- Friedrich Nietzsche "It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else." (John W Home and Garden
"I'll tell you something: Luxury disgusts me." (Giorgio Armani) The important thing is not to stop questioning.
-- Albert Einstein "I put on an act sometimes, and people think I'm insensitive. Really, it's like a kind of armor because I'm too sensitive. If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I' The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
-- Lucille S. Harper Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
-- Alvin Toffler Home and Garden I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.
-- Vincent Van Gogh Women's liberationists spread the word that...the only peaceful family is one in which either the
wife is enslaved or the husband is androgynous.
-- R. Emmett Tyell, The Liberal Crack-Up, 1984 A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
- Lao-Tzu Home and Garden
Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
-- H. L. Mencken A man in the house is worth two in the street.
-- Mae West It is never too late to be what you might have been.
-- George Eliot It was a day like this Marco Polo left for China. What are your plans for today?
--Loesje My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
-- Vladimir Nabokov Home and Garden When yer in a funk, people in love are a royal pain in the patookus.
-- Portnoy, character in "Outland," comic strip by Berkely Breathed If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
- George Bernard Shaw Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. Home and Garden
"Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives." (Gary Busey) God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at
the same time.
- Robin Williams, commenting on the Clinton/Lewinsky affair A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
-- Carl Sandburg The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
- Aristotle Onassis Guide to understanding a net.addict's day:
Slow day: didn't have much to do, so spent three hours on usenet.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours of usenet.
Bad day: barely squeezed in three ho Home and Garden Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same
thing nowadays.
-- Oscar Wilde Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window.
You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.
-- Jean Ke Home and Garden
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
-- Robert Frost Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) "If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way." (Mark Twain) "The dancer's body is simply the luminous manifestation of the soul." (Isadora Duncan) Home and Garden The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one. If it were weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
-- Rodney Dangerfield Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
-- Ken Dodd Home and Garden
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the
commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete
answer. In fact, women's total ins If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- Will Rogers Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky Husband: a man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping. "You believe that flag burning shows disrespect towards those who have fought to preserve our freedoms. Punishing protestors shows an even more profound disrespect for the ideals that these people die Home and Garden Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board And gain is gain, however small.
-- Robert Browning "You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Home and Garden
