Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
-- Tilney Unfortunately, the media have trouble distinguishing between real science and propaganda
cross-dressed as science.
-- Linda Bowles, political columnist "Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas?" (Josef Stalin) "I never resist temptation, because I have found that things that are bad for me do not tempt me." (George Bernard Shaw) I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for
half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey Arts and Entertainment The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
-- Lily Tomlin I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon, U.S. President Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.
-- G. K. Chesterton Arts and Entertainment
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
-- Bob Perelman "The only way to have friends is to be one." (Ralph Waldo Emerson) The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
-- Jackie Gleason "I never learned from a man who agreed with me." (Robert A. Heinlein) Arts and Entertainment 2,400,000 Americans play the accordian - hopefully not at the same time.
-- inside of a Pepsi cap "There is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself." (Herman Melville) The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
-- Oscar Wilde Arts and Entertainment
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of
sin.
-- John Von Neuman "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread." (Alexander Pope) Sir Francis Drake circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper.
-- Unknown history student Women: If they're not turning down your proposals for marriage, they're accusing you of
suspicious behavior in the women's lingerie changing room.
-- Cliff Clavin, character on "Cheers", U.S. Televi "'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'if it was so, it might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic!'" (Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass) Arts and Entertainment Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
- Henry David Thoreau "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic." (Andy Warhol, Holy Terror: Andy Warhol Close Up) Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
-- Roger Babson Arts and Entertainment
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country
could do under first-class management.
-- Senator Soaper "Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected..." (Chuck Jones) When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find
that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our
pain I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years. "To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity." (Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche) Arts and Entertainment A thing is not necessarily true because badly uttered, nor false because spoken magnificently.
-- St. Augustine Vote early and vote often.
- Al Capone "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (John Keats) Arts and Entertainment
If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they leave skid marks. -- Rita Rudner Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of
humor is just common sense, dancing.
-- Clive James Early to rise and early to bed.
Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
-- James Thurber It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.
-- François de La Rouchefoucauld When you've spent half your political life dealing with humdrum issues like the environment... it's
exciting to have a real crisis on your hands.
-- Margaret Thatcher, on the Falklands Conflict Arts and Entertainment "From the start, marriage was instituted for contemptible, practical reasons--an idea of men." (Catherine Deneuve) Once all struggle is grasped, miracles are possible.
-- Mao Tse-tung "To introduce something altogether new would mean to begin all over, to become ignorant again, and to run the old, old risk of failing to learn." (Isaac Asimov) Arts and Entertainment
In view of all the deadly computer viruses that have been spreading lately, Weekend Update
would like to remind you: when you link up to another computer, you're linking up to every
computer that th The closer I'm bound in love to you, the closer I am to free.
-- Indigo Girls, song lyric "Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." (Dylan Thomas) Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." (Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss, 1904-1991) Arts and Entertainment Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
-- LaRouchefoucauld What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is
the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
-- Crow Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
- Mark Twain Arts and Entertainment
I must follow the people. Am I not their leader?
-- Benjamin Disraeli If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the
faculty of laughter.
-- Joseph Addison The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.
-- George Bernard Shaw Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
-- Oscar Wilde Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
-- Henry Ford Arts and Entertainment He who has a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.
- Friedrich Nietzsche The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to
heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need
more supervision.
-- Lynn Love is the same as like except you feel sexier.
-- Judith Viorst Arts and Entertainment
"God is a gentleman. He prefers blondes." (Joe Orton, Loot) Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?
-- The Artist Formerly Known As Prince The church is the great lost and found department.
-- Robert Short Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy-- the
mother.
-- Claudette Colbert "One of the great dangers in having a career is getting bored." (Itzhak Perlman) Arts and Entertainment A witty saying proves nothing.
- Voltaire "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." (Abraham Lincoln, 1809-65) They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so
brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel Arts and Entertainment
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
- Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943 When nations grow old, the arts grow cold and commerce settles on every tree.
-- William Blake A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
- Paul Erdos Age does not make us childish, as some say; it finds us true children.
-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each
other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result being that they get on each other's
nerves Arts and Entertainment Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of
hers.
-- Anonymous Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett When Michelangelo finished the painting of the Sistine Chapel's ceiling, he spent the rest of his
life trying to remove the paint that had poured into his sleeve.
-- Francois Cavanna Arts and Entertainment
A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which is but saying in other words
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.
-- Alexander Pope I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein "Goodwill is the only asset that competition cannot undersell or destroy." (Mrshall Field, businessman and philanthropist) Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker
room is the temple where they worship arrested development.
-- Russell Baker When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
- Sir Winston Churchill Arts and Entertainment "We have so little presumption that we should like to be known in the world, even to those who come after when we are no more. We have so little vanity that the esteem of five people, say six, amuses Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
- Auric Goldfinger, in Goldfinger by Ian L. Fleming If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada Arts and Entertainment
Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.
-- John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987 "So little done, so much to do." (Cecil Rhodes) The first clergyman was the first rascal who met the first fool.
-- Voltaire Our elections are free - it's in the results where eventually we pay.
-- Bill Stern Life - a sexually transmitted terminal condition.
-- Walter Prager Arts and Entertainment Sex is God's joke on human beings.
-- Bette Davis Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins.
-- Sioux Indian Prayer Never eat more than you can lift.
-- Miss Piggy, character on "The Muppet Show," U.S. television show Arts and Entertainment
